


Wastelands 101

by Raptor_Red



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Disabled Character, F/F, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5109290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raptor_Red/pseuds/Raptor_Red
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out here in the zombie infested wastelands, the rule of thumb usually was something along the lines of "everyone for themselves", or so Peridot thought until a woman called Jasper saved her from being eaten by the undead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for this while watching a cishetwhiteguy infested movie about zombies into which I'd been dragged by a friend and after I had to watch a trailer for yet another cishetwhiteguy infested movie about zombies in the previews. One and a half hours in a dark cinema are a long time to cook up some concepts and I hope you'll enjoy the story I put them into!
> 
> Oh btw, Peridot is Korean, Jasper black with vitiligo, Lapis mixed race, Garnet black as well, Amethyst Latina and Pearl is white. You'll find out who the disabled and trans characters from the tags are in the story, if you're an amputee or a trans woman yourself and feel like I done goofed it at any point, please let me know! (Suspension of disbelief is one thing, being an offensive butt another)

This would be it then, Peridot thought bitterly as she glanced downwards.

Not twenty minutes ago a particularly large group of zombies had attacked the group she’d been traveling with, after it had become clear they couldn’t kill them all off, everyone had run for their respective vehicle, or just run away in general.

Peridot wasn’t very good at running. In her desperation she’d climbed one of the lone electric poles that still littered these dry plains instead. Luckily, one of its metal rungs had broken clean off as one zombie had attempted to climb it after her. The zombie had fallen back down, leaving a gap between two rungs below her that was too wide to cross or jump. So for now, she was safe. Peridot didn’t have much confidence that it would stay that way, though. Years of harsh desert conditions and no maintenance had left this pole weakened, it stood crooked and creaked dangerously with each new attempt from the horde of undead to shake down their prey by throwing themselves against it.

Peridot gave the pole maybe another hour before it would undoubtedly fall over. The sun had just finished setting, only a small stripe of orange was left of its light over the horizon. An hour wouldn’t be enough.

Another zombie was attempting to cross the gap, stretching one grey arm as far as it could but not quite making it. It hissed and snarled in frustration.

“Oh shut the fuck up, you’ll get me soon enough.”

There wasn’t much fear left in Peridot at this point, only exhaustion. And resignation. She’d managed to survive for so long but now it didn’t even matter anymore, yet still she held on, not giving these creatures the satisfaction of an easy snack.

After a while -she couldn’t tell how long- Peridot heard a faint rattling in the distance, over time, it got louder and eventually she could place the sound, it was an exhaust! Probably something like a motorcycle or quad. She strained her eyes toward the direction she thought it was coming from and sure enough, under the light of the moon she saw a cloud of dust and riding before it, a motorcycle. Her eyes went wide when she realized it was making a wide curve now, it was coming toward her!

The driver stopped maybe 30 feet away from the group of zombies, got off and...simply started walking toward them? As far as Peridot could see they were neither armored nor particularly well-armed, all she could make out was that they were rather tall, like 7 feet tall and had wild, long hair. They had almost reached the outer “ring” of zombies and still they didn’t start shooting.

“Stop! What are you doing, they’ll kill you if you don’t start shooting!”, she shouted, someone actually found her and was -probably?- trying to save her but it turned out they were some suicidal idiot. Wonderful. Peridot continued trying to warn them, gesticulating wildly and almost falling down as a result. It became clear that they didn’t hear or didn’t want to hear so she stopped.

But she didn’t look away from the stranger, not for a second. The first zombies had noticed them, Peridot bit her bottom lip, expecting them to get maimed instantly, but...huh? Nothing happened. The tall figure simply started parting the crowd of undead, shoved one or two aside that were directly in her path and continued on, until they stood directly under Peridot’s electric pole.

With a firm pull to its leg, the zombie under her that she’d been sharing the pole with went down and landed in the dirt with a groan. It was only now that the stranger pulled a rifle from a holster on their back and started to shoot at random zombies. The lot of them seemed, confused? At least as confused as Peridot was right now. It was as if they couldn’t comprehend where the offending bullets were coming from even though the source was standing right in their midst.

One or two died since they got shot in the head but most started to scatter into the night, the ones that got hit with pained howls. Not a single one tried to go for the stranger’s throat and after a total of maybe ten shots at the most they put their weapon away again, watching the last zombies disperse.

“Ugly shits.” The other person’s voice was deep and gruff, still Peridot didn’t think her savior was a man.

Figuring this was as safe as it would get, Peridot started to climb down, she tried to dangle as low as she could from the rung above the gap, then she let go and landed in the dirt like the zombie not a minute ago before her. The giant stranger was looming above her and she could get a proper look at them now.

They really were no man, a woman had saved her, albeit not a very feminine looking one, what with her brick-wall like stature. She appeared even taller from Peridot’s spot on the ground now than she had from up on the pole. Her unruly hair was enormous and her clothing -dark trousers, a broad belt and a tank top that might have been white a long time ago- was simple and utilitarian in contrast. The two most striking things about her were her impressive muscles, and the white splotches on her otherwise dark skin. Vitiligo it was called, if Peridot remembered correctly.

The tall woman proffered her a hand and Peridot took it, she was promptly pulled to her feet, or well, to her foot. She must have somehow lost her prosthesis while climbing the pole, she hadn’t even noticed until now, the adrenaline rush had given her enough strength to get up there with just her arms and one leg.

As the other woman didn’t expect her to topple over again, Peridot landed in the dirt once more, this time she was sitting upright though and she immediately started to look around the perimeter for her missing leg. She spotted it just moments later, lying forlorn on the ground a dozen feet away, with some relief she also saw her backpack not far away from it.

“I, uh, do you think you could get that for me? Please?”, she said meekly while pointing at the prosthesis.

The other woman looked somewhat confused but complied, her expression changed from confusion to curiosity or maybe astonishment as she realized the piece of metal and plastic she had just picked up was a leg, she inspected it some more before handing it over to Peridot who swiftly got started on reattaching it.

“Thank you. I mean, also for saving me. If you expected some kind of repayment I’m afraid I don’t have anything to offer you. Feel free to look through my backpack, but I don’t think I have anything of worth to you.”, Peridot said dryly.

She’d finished closing all the buckles that kept her leg in place below the knee (all minus one, it had snapped, she’d have to find a replacement somehow but for now it would do) and got back on her feet as well as dusted most of the dirt from her pants.

“‘S okay, I’ll take any opportunity to fuck with these nasty buggers, no need to thank me. I’m Jasper, by the way.”

“Peridot.”

Jasper wanted to say something else but before she could do so, the electric pole behind her and Peridot finally gave up its fight against gravity, it fell over -luckily away from them- with loud metallic creaking and then a crash.

Jasper seemed unperturbed, amused even. “Looks like I had perfect timing finding you. So how did you even end up this far out all on your own? No offense but you don’t look like someone who should be travelling alone.”

Peridot sighed, then explained matter-of-factly, “I wasn’t alone but this horde surprised and then overwhelmed the group I was travelling with, they fled but, well, as you can see I’m not the fastest runner”, she gestured at her prosthesis, now hidden by her pants, “so they left me. I don’t think they’ll come back.”

On the one hand Peridot couldn’t really blame them, her disability was usually more trouble than her knowledge and skills to fix things was worth. On the other hand she really hoped they got ambushed by an even bigger horde of zombies sometime soon.

Jasper silently took all of that in, she seemed to think about it for a while, Peridot could see how her eyebrows knitted together as the brain behind them came to some sort of decision.

“Your group may not, but those undead bastards will come back for sure. Look,", Jasper scratched her forehead, "I didn’t just save your ass only for you to get eaten half an hour later, I’m on my way back home, if you want to, I can take you with me.”

First Peridot was baffled, then she was wary, she always was, especially on the rare chance that something not entirely shitty happened to her, so far those things had always come with a price to be paid afterwards. Yet she also knew that there was no other option for her right now besides trusting Jasper’s word.

“That...would actually be incredibly generous of you.”

They proceeded to get the hell out of here, while Peridot picked up her backpack, Jasper got onto her bike -Peridot could see it better now from up close, it had broad wheels with deep grip, perfect for difficult terrain. It was also in surprisingly good condition.

“C’mon get on, and hold onto me.”, Jasper beckoned and Peridot did as she was told, mindful of the leather saddlebags strapped to each side of the hind mud guard. At first she felt awkward when she slung her arms around Jasper’s midriff but at the speed with which they took off into the night, she realized holding on was bare necessity.

At first she kept alternating between staring out onto the dark plains on the left and then the right, nervously looking out for more zombies but as the ride went on, for hours seemingly, Peridot found herself slowly calming down against Jasper’s warm back. Her grip loosened only marginally but the rest of her body allowed itself to relax just enough and eventually she fell asleep with the wind howling in her ears and the rumbling of Jasper’s motorcycle under her.

She’d completely forgotten to ask why Jasper hadn’t been ripped apart by the zombies when she walked right between them.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Peridot woke up the next morning, it was to several voices trying to talk in hushed tones but ultimately failing at that, she couldn’t see who they belonged to. Sitting up, she did a quick scan of her surroundings.

She had slept on an old mattress between piles of worn pillows and blankets, all in earthy brown or red or orange tones, the ground in front of the mattress was covered in equally old and worn carpets, most were just rugs but one was a large Persian carpet with an intricate pattern, its color had dulled from years of wear. The wall to her left was bare, rusty-red rock but the other three sides were closed off into a makeshift room with large sheets draped over ropes that had been spanned on wooden poles. There was no real ceiling but up high -higher than the wooden poles and sheets- she could see a rough metal lattice, it must have been constructed from all kinds of scraps that had been fitted together this way and that. It also provided enough pleasant shade from the harsh desert sun.

Peridot stopped her wide-eyed gawking at everything as the voices coming from somewhere behind the sheets continued to talk rather heatedly.

“Jasper, we can’t feed another mouth.”, this speaker’s voice was light, but they sounded very frustrated.

“Yes we can, you know damn well we have some more dried meat than we need. You always say it will be for “Bad Times” but wake the fuck up Pearl, in case you haven’t noticed the zombies, we are _living_ in the bad times, besides, what do you want me to do? Drag her back out by her hairs and leave her to get eaten or infected? Or be so nice to show her _some_ mercy and shoot her right then and there?” It was Jasper who said this. Peridot also realized they were talking about her, no doubt.

“Y’know P, I think she’s right. Aaaand remember the last time she brought home a weird smelly stray, I never thought I’d say this but I love to eat my greens. So who knows, maybe this Peridot gal’s got something to offer too?”

“Fuck you Amethyst, I wasn’t weird. Or smelly. Or a stray.”

“Right my bad, you were more stabby than smelly.”

“Whatever, aside from that, I agree with Amethyst, and another pair of eyes to take a shift of keeping watch at night can’t hurt.”

The first person -Pearl or “P” Peridot assumed- spoke again, pleadingly, “Garnet, what do you think?”

There was a pregnant pause and Peridot swallowed, somehow she knew that whatever this Garnet person said would tip the scales.

“She can stay. She’ll have to pull her weight like the rest of us, but if she’s survived this long with her handicap I’m sure she will be able to do that. I won’t throw someone out to die on their own out there if I can help it. And, we kept Lapis. And Jasper. _And_ Amethyst. Now that I think about it, I kept you, so.

The Pearl person huffed, indignantly, then she went on, her tone now somewhat mellower, “I-I didn’t mean to sound cruel, it’s just-”

“I know, Pearl.”, Garnet said, it sounded honest, without a hint of sarcasm.

 “Yeah P, and if she _does_ turn out to be some kind of massive asshole -I mean, more of an asshole than Lapis- we can still take her out behind the tool shed and give her a bullet. I call dibs on the loot in her backpack.”

Another pause.

“……...hey I was just joking, alright?”

Peridot figured now was as good a time as any to show herself, even though the last person had said they’d only joked, she didn’t want to look like some lazy freeloader on her first day. It wasn’t easy though, this mattress was the most comfortable bed she’d been allowed to sleep on in a long time.

Getting up, parting the sheet curtains before her and stepping forward, Peridot found herself in front of five women standing in a rough circle -she recognized only Jasper- they all looked up at her sudden appearance, somewhat surprised.

Peridot took a breath to gather herself.

“Look, I didn’t mean to... eavesdrop but I overheard your conversation. If you want me to go, I’ll go,” she nervously fiddled with her own hands, that would be her death sentence but she wanted to look strong for once, and begging them on her knees would be kind of counterproductive to that, “but if you let me stay I promise I’ll work as hard as any of you! And I can fix just about anything with a motor or wires, if that sweetens the deal for you.”

The lithe woman with strawberry blonde hair standing opposite of Jasper spoke up first, “Oh we already have a technician, which would be me, but I’m sure we’ll find some other tasks for you.”

Peridot knew from her voice that she had been the one who didn’t want her to stay. She didn’t comment on it, she wasn’t in a position to argue here unless she wanted to be thrown out after all but filed the information away in the back of her mind.

After a round of introductions Garnet asked Lapis to accompany Peridot to their well, surely she was thirsty.

As the two made their way toward said well, Peridot’s eyes were busy taking in everything around her. She was standing in a wide circle that the elements must have carved out of the rock as its walls were rough and uneven, at least the parts she could see because there were more “rooms” segregated along the walls with poles and fabric, like the one she had woken up in. The ground was soft sand except for the flat rocks that had been used to create a fireplace in the middle of this place. In one corner -where the metal lattice that spanned all of this pit-like place was less dense and let in more sunlight- Peridot spotted plants. Actual plants! Their lush green an usual sight nowadays where it was hard to find enough water just for oneself.

Moving on she made out two entrances. Or exits. They were simple gaps in the rock and she and the woman called Lapis were currently walking toward one of them, unlike the other, this one led into darkness, some kind of cave most likely.

At last, her eyes settled on Lapis, or at least her back, since she was walking in front of her. Her skin was a light brown, like from a tan, but Peridot didn’t think she was white yet she couldn’t quite place her ethnicity, probably mixed race. She didn’t feel like asking about this when there was something else she was curious about.

“How do you keep your hair dyed blue?”

Lapis shrugged, “Eh, hair salons aren’t really top-priority for most looters, so finding dye isn’t actually that hard. Watch where you step now, there’s lots of junk in here.”

They had entered the dark of the cave ahead and sure enough it was stuffed to the brim with supplies, leaving only a narrow path to walk deeper into the rock. Lapis lighted a torch and now Peridot could see things somewhat better in its flickering light, there were barrels and shelves with ropes and wire and cloth, cans and other containers with food, dusty electrical devices like an ancient TV and all kinds of other stuff Peridot didn’t bother to discern.

As they walked on, the clutter soon decreased and was gone completely eventually, the rocky hallway bare again. And slick too? There was moisture on the floor and ceiling, Peridot could see the wet shine in the light of the torch and soon after they reached a tub-sized natural basin filled with water, it was being fed by a light but steady trickle from the ceiling above.

Lapis handed her a bucket that had been standing in front of the basin.

“Don’t drink or wash yourself directly from the well, you can fill this bucket and use that instead. There should be some soap lying around somewhere too. And here’s a change of clothing if you want to wash yours. Which you should. No offense but you kinda stink.”

“I-”

“I’ll leave the torch for you, come back out when you’re finished.”

And with that Lapis was gone.

Peridot lifted one arm to sniff at her armpit and yeah alright okay maybe she was a bit stinky. Weeks of sweating and sleeping on the ground could do that to a girl. All the more reason to enjoy this. A whole bucket of water, just for herself! Incredible. She must have won the jackpot because these people lived like, well, like people during the zombie apocalypse who at least had the bare human necessities covered. That was more than Peridot was used to.

After she was done filling her stomach with heavenly clear cold water and washing up, she went to pick up the torch from its mount on the wall and discovered something...odd next to it.

Bolted into the wall not far from the torch holder were two sturdy looking metal shackles. Peridot inspected them closer, finding the cast iron to be smooth and rubbed shining-blank from use in some places. She shuddered. What the hell were these for?

Their presence certainly didn’t make Peridot feel safer but then again, if they had wanted to kill her or just keep her prisoner here for whatever reason, they could have easily done so by now.

When asked about the shackles, Lapis’ answer was vague and ominous, “Just hope you’ll never see them be used.”

Peridot eyed the exit opposite to the cave as inconspicuously as possible now after all. Just in case.

Lapis noticed and threw up her hands as if trying to placate Peridot, “God, that came out wrong. They aren’t for you, I promise, so don’t even worry about it. It’s just...I can’t be the one to tell you about them, okay? Where the fuck is Amethyst when you need her, she’d have just told you a dirty joke about sex dungeons or something. Shit now don't get the wrong idea again, okay? They aren't for anything like that either.”

Peridot’s eyebrows rose. “.......I…..see, I get it. Well, I don’t, but I’ll still take my chances with you people and your mysterious shackles than the zombies out there.”

Lapis scratched the back of her neck. “Oh that’s good, I guess. Mostly because I don’t want to water all these plants on my own.” She pointed at the rows of beds behind her.

The rest of the day went by without Peridot really noticing the passage of time. Lapis kept her busy with watering all the plants -she still couldn’t believe her eyes, there were tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, even okra!- then weeding between them meticulously, then carefully cutting twigs from various herbs Peridot didn’t know the names of and tying them into neat bundles for drying and finally harvesting any ripe vegetables and storing them away in the coolness of the cave.

Peridot knew she had no green thumb but with Lapis’ instructions she thought she did quite well today.

After their short and awkward conversation earlier Lapis had kept rather quiet -aside from sharing her gardening expertise- and Peridot didn’t mind, it made it easier for her to concentrate on her tasks. Only sometimes she would look up and catch a glimpse of one of the other women, working on something or another as well, or coming in or walking back out of the entrance-slash-exit. The shackles didn’t leave her mind, though.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the weeks passed, Peridot settled in properly. She learned the rhythm of this strange commune -and adapted to it.

Early in the morning she helped Lapis water and take care of the plants and afterwards one of the others would usually approach her and request help with this or that.

On one day, Amethyst led her outside and up a rocky path until they stood almost at the edge of the pit. Emphasis on “almost”, hefty wooden balks -sharpened on one end- had been rammed into the earth surrounding it at an outwards angle, a second security measure to keep zombies away besides the metal lattice that acted as a cover for the pit.

One of balks had become loose and it would be Amethyst’s and her job to lodge it back in.

“So is there a particular reason why you’re showing me how to make mud? And can’t you stir it with a stick or something?”, Peridot said, doubtfully eyeing Amethyst.

They had come here with two buckets of water and now Amethyst was slowly pouring some of it into a third bucket containing crumbling dirt, she stirred the concoction with one of her bare arms, Peridot wrinkled her nose.

“We’re making cement and nah I get a better feel for it with my hands, it’s gotta be just right. Here like this!”, Amethyst pulled her arm out of the bucket and motioned for Peridot to take her place.

“I’m not stirring mud with my hands.”

“Tell that to the zombie that’s gonna slip through because you were too wimpy to touch some fucking mud. Come on, did you use to be some kinda city-slicker or what?”

“Ugh whatever.” Peridot knelt down in front of the bucket. And started stirring. And making various disgusted faces, much to Amethyst’s amusement.

“See, that’s how it’s supposed to feel like, if it’s too runny it won’t work.”

“So what even are you, then? A mud connoisseur?”

“Geology major. Well, a failing geology major but then y’know the zombie virus pandemic happened the day before my finals, so it’s all good.”

After their crude cement mixture was ready they worked together to right the heavy balk, Amethyst held it upright while Peridot dug around it like a dog wanting to bury a bone.

“Why can’t I hold it up and you dig?”

“Because, princess, this shit-thing is heavy as hell and you look like a leaf could crush you.”

 “Hey!”

“The more time you waste complaining the sooner I’ll have to drop it on you.”

Grumbling, Peridot got back to work and started pouring the cement into the ring-shaped hole around the balk, getting more of it on herself in the process.

After she was finished with that, she dropped the bucket and helped Amethyst hold it up with all her might until the cement would be dry. Which thankfully didn’t take long under the intensity of the desert sun. Peridot suppressed her exhausted breathing after Amethyst had told her it was fine to let go now.

She almost fell into the dirt when Amethyst slapped her back appreciatively, “Nice work! I take it back, it probably takes at least two leaves to crush you.”

On other days, she helped Garnet take stock of all their supplies or mend clothing with Pearl -she wasn’t very skilled at that, it made her angry which only made her prick herself with the needle that much more often, to boot, Pearl didn’t say anything but seemed smug about her apparent ineptitude.

She also tried asking all of them about the iron shackles but received either joking lies, serious lies or no answer at all -in Jasper’s case.

Eventually she just gave up on it, the issue was still there, though. At the back of her mind.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One morning Jasper roused her just after dawn. “We’re going hunting today.” Despite the grogginess from being woken up, she was also happy. Jasper had made herself sparse short after Peridot had asked her about the shackles, she’d been worried she had offended her somehow, seeing her again and even getting to spend the day with her filled Peridot with a disproportionate amount of relief she couldn’t explain the reason of.

She just hoped she wouldn’t shoot herself in the leg -didn’t matter which one but with her luck it would probably be the one that could still feel pain- as they drove off on Jasper’s motorcycle.

They travelled for about an hour until they reached an area with patches of yellow-brown grass as high as Jasper’s shoulders.

“So how do we go about this?”, Peridot asked loudly as she peered at the wall of grass ahead of her after she got off the motorcycle, ready for action.

Jasper fetched her rifle and slung one of the saddlebags around her shoulder, “Well, first of all, we need to be more quiet. In general, animals don’t like to be killed so we shouldn’t announce our arrival by yelling at the grass where they hide.”

Peridot closed her mouth into a thin line, embarrassed.

They walked in silence for a while until Jasper stopped and crouched down, examining the sand in front of her. At first Peridot didn’t understand why, until she recognized a pattern on the ground, it wasn’t easy to see but it was there, some kind of tracks.

“What animal made these?”, she spoke quietly now, not repeating her mistake from earlier.

“Rabbits. You can see the gap between the paw prints as it hopped forward, this way. Keep your eyes open for more of these, or the one who made them.”

They walked on and Peridot did as she was told, staring at the grass near the ground as hard as she could. She only found more tracks which she pointed out to Jasper, an hour of that passed uneventfully and Peridot’s spirit started sinking until Jasper silently motioned for her to stop.

Up ahead there were small holes leading into the ground, they must have found the rabbit’s burrow! Not only that, in front of one of the holes sat one of its inhabitants, innocently enjoying the gentle warmth of the morning sun. Jasper wasted no time, slowly, slowly she aimed her rifle at the small furry creature, it couldn’t see nor smell them as they were standing in the tall grass and had walked against the wind.

Peridot watched Jasper getting ready with bated breath. That was, until she saw movement out of the corner of her eyes to her left. She almost yelped but thank god she didn’t. About a hundred feet away stood a deer, a honest-to-god, actual deer. Somehow it hadn’t seen them either and it was grazing peacefully. A whole deer would be much better prey than a puny rabbit, Peridot thought, she tapped and nudged Jasper’s shoulder excitedly, and then with more urgency when she didn’t turn around right away.

Everything happened in a matter of seconds afterwards, Jasper finally relented and turned around, her expression annoyed and as if to say “what the hell, Peridot.”

The rabbit noticed the sudden movement and bolted back into the safety of its burrow. The deer looked up as well in surprise and if not for Jasper’s quick response -she spotted the deer, her eyes went wide and she took aim instantly this time, no need to stay quiet anymore- it would have gotten away as well. It didn’t, though. Jasper’s bullet was faster.

The shot rang loudly over the dry plains, another one followed quickly as Jasper hadn’t killed it with just one since she had to take aim so fast.

They both walked up to the freshly deceased deer.

“Holy shit.” That sure was one dead animal Peridot was looking at there.

Jasper suddenly started laughing, making her look up.

“What’s so funny?”

“You should see your face, you _do_ know I didn’t shoot your mom, right Bambi?”

Peridot huffed and blew out her cheeks. “Hmph, take a picture, it’ll last longer. Also you should have seen _your_ face when I tapped you to turn around.”

Jasper only chuckled again at that, “I think I should take you hunting more often.”

Even though the praise had been small, Peridot felt like swelling with pride. That’s right, she had just helped acquire food for all of them out here in the unforgiving desert...never mind that it had been Jasper doing the actual shooting.

Jasper tied the deer’s legs together with some rope from her saddlebag and slung it over her free shoulder.

The journey back home was uneventful. _Home, huh?_ Peridot hadn’t been here for that long yet and already she’d started calling it “home”. And it was easy, she guessed. So far she had yet to get yelled at, she had a safe place to sleep, food and water and the other women were slowly warming up to her. Minus Pearl, but she could live with that too, she didn’t like Pearl much either.

They only briefly stopped next to an abandoned road tanker, despite it laying on its side like a beached metal whale, it hadn’t spilled any of its fuel freight and as Peridot learned, Jasper frequently filled her tank from it.

Back inside the safety of the rock-pit Jasper pulled out a sharp knife and got started on skinning the deer.

“Please tell me I don’t have to help with that.”

Jasper wanted to reply something but before she could do so, Lapis interrupted her, she had just walked in from the cave. She didn’t look very happy about the -admittedly- not very pretty looking animal carcass in front of her.

“Why do you always have to do this in here.”, she deadpanned.

“Because I don’t feel like warding off a dozen zombies that would get attracted by the blood. The sun is about to set soon, you are free to do it yourself, outside, if you think you can work faster than me and be finished by nightfall.”

Jasper leaned toward Peridot then, mock-whispering as she continued, “Our herb witch here is just cranky ‘cause she used to be a vegetarian, but she had to re-convert because stuff like tofu is kinda hard to come by out here and she didn’t want to starve.”

Lapis only grumbled something about finding soybean seeds one day and stomped off, back into the cave.

“To answer your question, no you don’t have to watch me gut this guy, you can go with Lapis and help her prepare the rest for dinner.”

Peridot gladly did so, not too thrilled about the concept of watching an innards-stained Jasper.

First she helped Lapis bring a bucket of clean water and an armful of vegetables out to the fireplace. Garnet and Amethyst had joined them too by now and while Lapis chopped the vegetables for a stew, she set up wood for a fire and watched in fascination as Garnet coaxed a spark onto some dry grass the ancient way, with a flintstone.

A while later a heavenly smell of vegetables, meat and herbs permeated the air. Pearl had arrived too now -and Garnet had rolled a heavy rock in front of the pit entrance since everyone was here now and it would be pitch black outside soon. She was wiping some oil from her hands with a rag, she also looked like she was in a bad mood.

“Still no luck with the wind wheel?”, Amethyst asked.

“I’m afraid not.”

“Let Peridot take a look at it tomorrow, maybe you two can find a solution together.”, Garnet said.

Pearl didn’t look too happy about that either but she didn’t say anything. Likewise, Peridot was too hungry to come up with something to get on her nerves.

Just as Lapis announced dinner was ready to be served, Jasper plopped down next to Peridot, she’d washed the blood and....worse off her skin, and now she edged closer to the fire for its warmth, Peridot noted her hair was still damp.

Now that they were all here and settled, Peridot’s favorite part of the day could begin (it was odd to her to consider nighttime her favorite part, she used to dread it, because it hadn’t always been certain that she would live to see the next morning)

Lapis handed out bowls filled with steaming stew and they ate while Jasper told the story of how they had hunted this deer, Peridot rolled her eyes when she vastly exaggerated the distance between her and the animal, and thus her marksmanship.

They always spent the evenings like this, lounging around the fire after a long day, telling stories of their pasts before the pandemic or of things that had happened today. Planning things that needed to be done the next. Sometimes Pearl needed to occupy her hands and mended more clothing or Lapis was struggling with wicker stalks as she was currently trying to learn how to weave a basket. Other times they would all just play cards together -with a deck that looked like it had seen some stuff. Amethyst won most of the time, and no one could prove that she was cheating. Or they would take turns reading one of Pearl’s books out loud, most of them weren’t even good books but finding an Octavia Butler was probably too much to ask for out here in the zombie infested desert, besides, that way everyone had something to complain about and added their commentary about improvements to the stories. In Jasper’s case that usually involved more guns. Or boobs.

The last part made Peridot wonder why Jasper didn't participate in the other kinds of activities the rest of them -minus Peridot- sometimes indulged in. There was no pattern to it but occasionally one of them would initiate it after dinner with a kiss or simple touch, while innocent in nature, the intention was always clear and they'd excuse themselves and leave together for one of their rooms. The rest of them sitting around the fire never seemed perturbed at all, they continued their conversations and it was only Peridot who kept staring at the ground and blushing at the knowledge of what was about to happen behind the sheet-walls of the one's who'd just left. Like with the frequency, there was no pattern to the pairings either aside from the fact that Jasper was never included. And not for lack of interest from the others, Peridot sometimes caught especially Amethyst sending a meaningful glance Jasper's way. It always caused something unnamed and unpleasant to stir in her belly but the feeling never lasted long because Jasper didn't show any interest. 

While Peridot wasn’t the most sociable of creatures herself, and certainly never tried initiating anything of the sort herself, she enjoyed the relaxation of letting her usually wired mind focus on a simple task such as winning a card game, or simply let it run aground and unspool completely next to the warmth of the fire. The latter so much so, that one time her eyelids grew too heavy for her to keep open. Her muscles unwound and her head drooped lower and lower until she planted her face right into Jasper’s arm, who had taken her usual spot next to Peridot.

She’d been out cold, Jasper couldn’t blame her, it had been an especially exhausting day, after all. They had all worked together to dig out a second water basin right next to the original one. It had been Peridot’s idea, she’d said it would give them more of a safety net just in case the trickling stream would ever run dry. The short woman had dug and carried buckets filled with earth with a vigor that had surprised Jasper. Much to Pearl’s dismay she had also bossed them all around quite a bit, since it had been her project after all.

Now her tiny body must have finally ran out energy, she didn’t wake up when Jasper proceeded to pick her up -easily and mindful of her prosthesis-, told the others good night and carried Peridot off to their shared sleeping space.

Peridot had her own bed made out of piles of old cloth and blankets but there wasn’t enough space left along the walls of the pit to section off her own room. She didn’t seem to mind sharing one with Jasper however, well, at least not after a while. Jasper’s snoring had posed a problem at first but like with anything life had thrown at Peridot before, she'd adjusted to that as well. And -she wouldn’t admit this out loud, though- sleeping close to someone as big and strong as Jasper always made her feel safer, she’d learned to let herself rest deep and thoroughly instead of the light nervous naps she’d been used to out traveling in the desert.

Jasper wasn’t of the overly sentimental kind but the way Peridot nestled herself into her blankets and how she didn’t stop pouting even in her sleep made her soften momentarily. She shrugged it off quickly and went to bed as well.

While Peridot was sleeping better now, someone thrashing and groaning three feet away still woke her up. She couldn’t remember how she actually ended up in her bed tonight but it didn’t matter right now, Jasper was having a nightmare right next to her. Her legs were tangled in her blankets and they tightened their grip as she continued to roll around, her eyes were shut tightly and a sheen of sweat covered her skin.

“Jasper.”

Peridot got up and tapped Jasper’s leg to get the other woman to wake up, without success.

“Jasper.”

Since Jasper’s bed was crammed into a corner of the room, she couldn’t walk up to her on one of its sides -at least not without fighting the sheets that made up the room’s walls-, her only option was to climb into it as well. She shook Jasper’s shoulders after narrowly dodging getting steamrolled by her weight when she changed her position once again. Still no success.

“Jasper.” She flicked her on the forehead. “Jasper.” Again. “Jasper! Wake up, it’s just a nightmare!”

She finally snapped out of it, they almost banged heads when she sat up abruptly and with wide eyes. Her mission complete, Peridot backed off immediately, she really wasn’t in the mood for any awkwardness this late. Or early.

“Wh- What?”, Jasper rasped out, confused.

“You had a nightmare. So I woke you up.”

“...I see. Well, thanks.”

“No Problem.” Oh well so much for no awkwardness early in the morning. Peridot wasn’t sure what the usual procedures for this kind of situation were but she guessed simply going back to bed would be too easy to be the correct answer.

“So, uh, do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Peridot suppressed the urge to huff indignantly, it wasn’t like she cared anyways.

“Fine. Goodnight then.”

 “Goodnight.”

They both lied back down but now Peridot was too alert to fall asleep again, she tried for some time but gave up eventually. Instead she quietly pulled something from her backpack that was always sitting next to her bed, staring at the tiny thing she’d retrieved from it, and at the familiar numbers on it always helped her calm down somewhat.

Apparently she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep anymore, after a few minutes she felt Jasper’s boulder-like presence looming behind her.

“Is that a phone?”

Figuring it was no use hiding it anymore, Peridot sighed, “Yes it is.”

“How do you keep it powered?”

“With a solar panel, see? I installed it myself.”, she turned it over to show said solar panel. Jasper took the phone from her hand to examine it further and for a moment Peridot hesitated, almost pulled her little treasure away but seeing how surprisingly careful Jasper held it soothed Peridot’s frazzled nerves.

“Wow, never thought I’d see one of these without a cracked screen again.”

“I take good care of it.”

“I can see that, but why?”, Jasper asked as she handed the little device back to Peridot, “It’s practically useless nowadays.”, then, softer, “what number were you staring at there earlier?”

Peridot blushed, she shouldn’t have taken it out in front of Jasper in the first place! The truth was, she knew it was useless, still she’d kept it safe for years because of its sentimental value. Pathetic. She could tell Jasper that it was none of her business and go back to bed already but she hesitated again. Worrying her bottom lip Peridot thought about how she’d never told anyone about this yet, no one she’d traveled with before had ever shown any interest in her besides wanting to know whether she could fix this or that.

“My mother’s. It was my mother’s number.”

Jasper’s expression compelled her to go on, “She was in Europe when it happened, you know, when the virus really hit. There had been reports the days before, I could tell they were downplaying it to avoid causing a panic. I told her not to fly, of course she didn’t listen. There were always important deals to be made, shareholders to be appeased. I’m sure she would have held a meeting next to an active volcano if it came down to it.”

Peridot paused for a moment, she’d felt so helpless being unable to convince her mother to stay.

“They closed the airports and borders a day later, they thought they could keep it from spreading with a quarantine. The last time I heard from her she was in Madrid, she told me not to worry.”

She fell silent.

Jasper idly scratched the back of her head. “You probably don’t want a pity-party and shit I’m not good with those anyways but you know what I think? If you’re only half your mom and you’ve managed to survive this long on your own then she’s probably selling those eurotrash zombies overpriced stocks as we speak.”

“The funny thing is, I can actually see her doing that.”, Peridot said quietly while staring at the neat little row of digits on the screen, a small smile tugging at her lips as her thumb hovered over the green “call” icon for a moment. It was always there, defiantly so. It didn’t care that there was no reception, never would be, again. Peridot decided that was enough being gloomy for one night, she put the phone away into the safety of her backpack.

“What about you? Do you have any family members left?”

Jasper shrugged, “I hope not.”

“...Wait, what?”

“Listen, I couldn’t give less a damn about them, haven’t seen them in a decade.”

Peridot had an inkling as to why but still she wanted to know and besides, Jasper sounded like she wanted to air out that particular story.

“Why?” She suppressed a yawn. Her body was tired but she really didn’t feel like sleeping anymore, she wanted to listen.

“Came out as trans to my parents when I was fifteen. I got a slap in the face as an answer so that was that. I left the same night and worked my ass off as a farmhand to afford living on my own and to save up for hormones. I managed that pretty well I’d say but then, you know, the zombie apocalypse.”, she mentioned the last part as if it were some kind of minor inconvenience.

“Oh.”

 “I spared you the pity party so you can do the same for me.”

Peridot cleared her throat, “Deal. At least you didn’t lose anyone you cared about to the zombies….wow sorry that was shitty. I’m shitty.”

Jasper snorted, she didn’t sound offended. She did however completely mess up Peridot’s hair as she ruffled through it with the huge paw she called a hand. “You kinda are. Also you’re wrong, I used to have a cat.”

“A cat, huh? I’m allergic, never cared about those.” That was the incorrect response and Peridot should have seen the noogie she was pulled into then coming. She squawked frantically and squirmed powerless against Jasper’s hold.

“Gah, fine, _sorry_ , SORRY! What was it called, your cat. Stop this and just tell me about your cat, you oaf!”

Jasper relented with a chuckle and let Peridot snake out of her arms who immediately went to smoothing down her hair, without much success.

“She was big and orange and her name was Rambo.”, she said almost serenely.

“You had a female cat named Rambo.”, it wasn’t a question because of course she did.

“She was a stray, I didn’t know she was female until I took her to the vet for the first time.”

Jasper flopped back down on her back, resting the back of her head on her crossed arms.

“Besides, ‘s not like cats care about gender and names.”

Another yawn tried to fight its way from Peridot’s mouth, this one succeeded.

“They sure don’t.”, her voice was quiet now.

“Maybe in my next life I should just be a cat. But a big one.”

“You mean like a lion?”, Peridot couldn’t believe she was having this conversation. She was too tired to care, though.

“Not a lion, I like tigers better.”

“I’m sure the local deer population wouldn’t be too thrilled about it.” She moved to curl up in her pile of blankets again with her eyes already half-closed. She was stopped by a light touch to her left hand however, Jasper had reached out to her. Her expression in the darkness didn’t really spell out any coherent words to Peridot, but something more basic, instinctual. She interpreted it as _come here?_

And so she did. With Jasper’s furnace-like body warmth all around her, she fell asleep and wasn’t even bothered by getting a close-up sampling of her rumbling snores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was chapter 1, the total word count of this thing will be ~21,000 by the way, I don't know how many chapters there will be yet though because I originally wrote this as a one-shot, but then things got slightly out of hand (that's also the reason why I haven't updated my other jaspidot fic in a while, I'll get to that soon, promise!) 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and concrit/comments are very welcome
> 
> oh and, ye be warned, there will be smut later


	2. Chapter 2

When Peridot woke up one morning a couple of days later -in Jasper’s bed, they had wordlessly made a habit of sharing it- Jasper had already left. Next to the fireplace she found Pearl and Amethyst sitting in the sand, mending more clothing, Peridot couldn’t help but sneer at Amethyst’s vacant expression, she hated needlework as much as herself. When she spotted Peridot she shouted at her across the distance of the pit, “Mornin’ princess, Jasper wants you to come outside, I think she’s messing with her bike again.”

“You know if you keep calling me princess, I’ll just start calling you peasant, you peasant.”

“Pearl, hey Pearl did you feel that, how it just got a little colder? I think that was Peridot’s attempt at a burn.”

Pearl only rolled her eyes and muttered something that could have been a “kindergarteners”.

Peridot left for the exit, in general she liked Amethyst but she always thought of good comebacks for their banter three hours too late.

The sun was still low in the sky when she shuffled out of the pit into the open expanse of the desert, not far off stood Jasper’s motorcycle and its owner right in front of it who turned halfway around when she saw Peridot approaching. Her usual outfit of a tank top and some well-worn jeans was already stained with black engine oil smears, as was her forehead, she must have accidentally wiped it with one hand and left it there. It looked silly but also...not. Peridot wasn’t staring at her muscled physique. No she wasn’t.

Jasper explained the problem to her, something about the injector nozzle and they swiftly went to work.

After handing her a screwdriver from the toolbox next to her, Jasper asked, “So how do you even know so much about fixing stuff, I know the basics from when a tractor on the farm I worked at broke down during harvest season and needed to be running again but you’re what, some kinda rocket scientist?”

“Heh, I wish.”, she returned the screwdriver to take a different one from Jasper’s hand, “I just had an interest in robotics in my teens.”

Jasper snorted, “Oh I can just picture that, little high school Peridot with no social life building a battle bot in her basement.”

“Wow rude? I had a social life. _And_ a battle bot, those aren’t mutually exclusive. Hold that up for me, yes like this.” They were already crouching in the sand next to each other but Jasper came even closer when Peridot instructed her to hold a wire out of the way so she could work behind it, deep in the guts of the bike. She tried to think of something that would distract her from being trapped between the bike and Jasper’s chest.

“Ok now it’s my turn for a question, where did you find a fucking Harley out here, you can’t tell me you had it before the virus hit.”

Jasper flashed her a toothy grin, “What, is that so hard to believe?”

“....yes.”

“Fine, you got me. I looted it in the city a while after.”

“The city? Pfft, yeah sure.”, Peridot found that even harder to believe. When she was out hunting with Jasper, on especially clear days, she could sometimes see the remnants of its skyline on the horizon. It was an El Dorado for finding useful supplies but it was also a death trap, even during the day it was dangerous to walk into buildings as they often provided enough shade from the sun for zombies to roam freely inside. The zombie density was incredibly high there in general, a large mass of population in one place had given the virus an army of hosts to spread among. A death trap, plain and simple.

“Hey I’m not lying, it’s not too dangerous if you know what you’re doing.”

They fell into silence after that, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable one and Peridot thought about Jasper’s words for a while, she’d gone into the city and came back, and from the sound of it, she did it on a semi-regular basis too. This might just prove to be her ticket for finding the replacement parts for her prosthesis she still needed.

An hour later, the bike’s engine was humming smoothly again.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peridot found herself relaxing in everyone’s presence more and more, even Pearl’s -they had achieved some sort of truce of mutual respect after they had fixed the wind wheel generator together. So much so that she was now comfortable doing maintenance on her prosthesis in the light of the fire in front of everyone, because while the light of a single bulb that had been installed in everyone’s room after the generator had been fixed was good, this was better. Aside from that, she was still sharing her room with Jasper, and her growling at being kept from sleeping advised Peridot not to try fixing it on their bed late at night again. 

Speaking of Jasper, truth be told, Peridot hadn't learned to relax around _all_ of them, Jasper was the exception. The woman was a menace to Peridot's nerves and she never even knew if it was on purpose or not when she found her touch lingering after she'd adjusted Peridot's hold on the rifle during a shooting lesson. Or when she recklessly maneuvered her bike through the nearby canyon until Peridot had to cling onto her like a scared bushbaby. Or how she always managed to start changing her clothing when Peridot happened to look her way. Or when she cracked a joke -often on Pearl's expense- and Peridot couldn't help but laugh until she noticed Jasper wasn't anymore and instead told her she "laughed like the tiniest supervillain". Or that time Peridot's hair had grown annoyingly long again, she'd pulled a pair of scissors and a tiny dulled pocket mirror out of her backpack and set to get the job done, Jasper watched her struggling with the two items at the same time and offered to do it for her after a few minutes. Figuring it couldn't look much worse than how Peridot usually cut it, she let her. And it had turned out well enough, to boot, she'd shamefully enjoyed Jasper touching her hair all the while. 

The list grew and grew and Peridot didn't know what to make of the feelings in her gut that stirred whenever something like that happened, or even when she simply watched Jasper sitting around the fire, gesturing when she dramatically reiterated some story or another. To Peridot, they felt foreign, soft and vulnerable, not something that should be left outside in this harsh desert.

“So how’d you even lose your stomper?”, Amethyst asked then, snapping her out of her thoughts and making her realize she hadn't been working on her prosthesis for a few minutes now. Garnet shot Amethyst a glance that said “don’t be rude.”

“Come on we’ve all been thinking about it, so here I am asking.”

Of course it had been only a matter of time until someone would ask that question.

Peridot set the screwdriver and her prosthesis down in her lap. “Got bitten in the leg by a zombie, didn’t want to turn into one myself.”

Jasper whistled, impressed.

“Okay you can’t just drop something like that and then not explain.”, Amethyst said, greedy for a story.

“You didn’t, you know,” Lapis made a cutting gesture with her hands, “do it yourself….right?”

Peridot snorted, “No, of course not. It happened shortly after the outbreak, back then more people still had an inkling of humanity left. A doctor helped me, sometimes I wonder if she’s still alive.”

“Hah, I knew it, pay up Garnet!” Peridot watched as Garnet pulled a battered looking package of gum from a pocket and threw it at Amethyst with a defeated grumble.

It almost hit Pearl instead but she narrowly dodged it, then she asked, “Pay up for what?”, then she seemed to realize something, “don’t tell me you made a bet on Peridot’s leg.”

Amethyst explained while storing the package away into her own pocket, “Well, no, duh. We made a bet on how she lost it. Garnet said she ate it, I said it was something to do with zombies.”

Peridot bristled, “You. What?! Also what the hell, I wouldn’t eat my own leg!”

Garnet shrugged, unperturbed, “I’ve seen worse.”

“Ugh, Amethyst, you owe me one of those gums.”

“No way princess.”, she answered after popping a gum bubble, “Oh wait, I think I have something else though.”

Suddenly Amethyst got up and left for her room, she came back with an armful of different glass bottles, with dark liquid sloshing inside.

“I was kinda saving these up but eh, I don’t think they’ll get much better.”

Pearl had taken one of the bottles Amethyst had dropped into the sand and inspected it.

“Amethyst, what is in these?”

“The good stuff, P.”

Pearl raised an eyebrow.

“Come on P, you know, the vino, nectar of the gods, some ol’ cab sauv?”

“You. Made wine.”

“Lapis helped.”

At that, Lapis held up her hands, as if surrendering, “Hey don’t look at me like that Pearl, she begged a whole day for me to give her some grapes. I had to think of my own mental health here too.”

“Whatever, now it can’t be helped and we might as well drink it.”, Jasper casually threw in.

“Oh no, not me. I’ll be over there, reading and saving all of you helpless drunkards in case you get the glorious idea to hold a bare-handed zombie fighting competition.”, Pearl said and walked off to read a book while sitting and leaning against a smooth rock.

Amethyst shrugged and started handing out the bottles, “Suit yourself. So I say we drink to Peridot’s doc’s continued well-being. And that of every other poor fucker still alive on this planet. Including us. Now and forever, amen.”

With that she unscrewed her bottle and took a swig, the others following suit. To their credit, they swallowed bravely, even Peridot, but she started coughing profusely afterwards until Jasper had to slap her back. The only one who didn’t even pull a face was Garnet.

“Congratulations Amethyst,” another half-dozen of coughs, “you managed to create something that tastes like piss and vomit at the same time.”

“Well excuse me, Dottie, feel free to give that fine vintage back, then.”

Peridot glanced at the bottle in her hand, then at Amethyst and then back at the bottle.

“No. And don’t call me Dottie.”

It got easier after her first disastrous gulp. It still raked its way down her throat as if the grapes were trying to take revenge for someone daring to call their graveyard “wine” but it got more and more bearable.

An hour later the contents of all bottles had dwindled dramatically. They were now more lying than sitting in the sand and staring up at the stars beyond the metal lattice. Garnet had left after a while to keep Pearl company, she’d taken her bottle with her, though.

Amethyst was the first one to speak up again after a lull in their conversation, “Guys, okay guys, but what if, what if _we_ are the zombies.”

Lapis snorted, “You _do_ know that you’re drunk, not high, right?”

“Whatever, I’ve just been thinking about this for a while now.”

“Yeah right and in a minute I’m gonna wake up and it turns out all of this was just a bad dream.”, Lapis said as she swirled the last wine in her bottle around.

“If anything, I’m the one dreaming. Because I really want my leg back.”

“I’m sure it was a good leg.”

“Eh, not really, I always sucked at PE in high school.”

There was another silence until Jasper suddenly started chuckling.

“What?”, Peridot asked.

“I’m not laughing about your damn leg, it’s just, Dottie’s got a nice ring to it, you know.”

Peridot groaned, “You are _not_ calling me Dottie.” she flicked Jasper on the forehead but when she wanted to pull her hand away again after administering that flick, Jasper grabbed it and moved it so that Peridot was reeled in closer until she was practically on top of Jasper.

“Or else what, Dottie?”, she could have just said it aloud, with one of her awful toothy grins, Peridot would have pulled back, offended, and that would have been that.

But she didn’t say it aloud, she murmured it against Peridot’s ear, dangerously close and her voice quiet and low, the way it also was when they were out hunting together and she didn’t want to scare away any potential prey.

Peridot didn’t pull back, she stayed where she was, only turning her head until she was facing Jasper. She could actually feel the warmth of the blush on her face, she was aware of every drop of wine-diluted blood running through her whole body in that moment, yet somehow it felt as if someone else was saying her next words.

“I-, I’ll think of something.”

“I’m sure you will.”

There was a moment of inertia as Jasper waited for a sign of approval, Peridot gave it by bowing her head downward ever so slightly. Jasper met her halfway.

It wasn’t the most graceful affair, since neither of them had had any practice in a while but Peridot didn’t give half a damn. Kissing Jasper felt incredible regardless. She revelled in the feeling of her plump lips and the warmth and solidity of the body underneath her. Soon she became greedy for more contact, putting her tongue to use to get Jasper to play along.

Jasper did so, after a breathy chuckle and a gentle nip to Peridot’s lower lip. Suddenly Peridot let out a surprised squeak as Jasper wanted a change of position and rolled them over, away from the fire.

Peridot decided she liked it, she could bury her hands in Jasper’s mass of hair now and got her to come even closer that way.

“Ahem, you guys, I’m glad you finally sorted that out but mmmmaybe you wanna continue this somewhere more private? Y’know, like the rest of us usually does?”, Amethyst said.

Jasper broke the kiss at that, but not happily. She got up and Peridot followed suit, staring at the ground in sudden embarrassment over what had just transpired. She looked up though when Jasper’s calloused hand entered her field of vision, she was holding it out toward her.

Peridot wasn’t drunk off her ass but she could definitely feel how the alcohol loosened her muscles and pleasantly dulled her mind. It was nice, and it was nice to take Jasper’s proffered hand, she noted how much smaller her own was compared to hers. She could almost feel everyone else’s eyes on her back as she and Jasper made their way toward their room, she wondered why she didn’t want to sink into the ground despite that.

She didn’t dwell on it for long however because Jasper closed the opening between the sheets behind them, picked Peridot up and practically threw her on their bed, she landed with a bounce and an _oof_.

Jasper came tumbling after her and they were back to kissing each other, not exclusively on the mouth now, there were other patches of skin to explore.

Technically, no one had the calories to spare to waste them on sex, or anything regarding reproduction really -Peridot couldn’t remember the last time she’d had her period- but it wasn’t like that had ever stopped anyone.

Sometime after losing her shirt but before Jasper tugged off her pants Peridot managed to ask, “Why didn’t you ever go with any of the others?”

“Didn’t want to.”, the other half of her sentence remained unsaid, _but I want you_.

“Do you want to take this off too or keep it on?”, Jasper was talking about her prosthesis. Peridot had reattached it after she’d finished with her maintenance procedures, before she’d gotten drunk. She rarely took it off unless she needed to, just in case, always just in case. But right now she didn’t want to feel its dead weight coming between herself and Jasper.

“Let me.”

Jasper got out of Peridot’s way and settled behind her back, nuzzling and trailing kisses from one shoulder to the other and letting her hands roam over her bare ribcage while Peridot set to undo all the buckles and straps that kept her prosthesis in place.

They spent a long time on foreplay, at first it was far more sensual than sexual.They simply enjoyed the sensation of touching each other without any ultimate goal in mind. Jasper -despite her stature and size- was surprisingly gentle, she didn’t leave a single bruise or bite mark only ever kissed and licked and caressed Peridot’s skin until she squirmed underneath her. Or dug her blunt nails into Jasper’s back muscles and threw her head back only to receive more light kisses to her now exposed throat.

Things changed. Slowly the mood shifted, touches lingered for longer or wandered lower, their way marked by quiet gasps and whines and purrs. By the time Peridot was ready to spread her thighs, Jasper wasn't fully hard yet though. She’d neutrally explained how that always took her some time now, because of the hormones she takes -via a plaster-like patch stuck to her skin a little over her waistline, it had been designed for someone with a lighter skin tone, making it stand out.

Peridot didn’t mind drawing things out until they were both ready, especially not if it meant she could draw more moans and shudders out of Jasper as she touched her, sometimes lightly, using only her fingertips, sometimes firmer until she arched and bucked her hips for more.

They had slowly moved around during that, Jasper had crawled forward and Peridot leaned back -their foreheads pressed together- until she was lying flat with Jasper settled between her thighs.

At last, her busy hand was pulled away from the now small space between their hips, she let it join her other one on Jasper’s back. A deep, warm flush spread through her body, and it wasn’t from the shitty wine. They kissed again, softly, when Jasper rocked her hips forward, Peridot only broke it to let out a sigh when she felt her nudging inside. She’d almost expected it to hurt, but it didn’t, they fit together seamlessly. Instinctively, they found the right rhythm of moving with each other after a while, Peridot clutched Jasper’s sides as her mass of hair hung around her like curtains when they kissed again, flicking their tongues together.

All their combined ministrations from earlier added up now, it didn’t take too long for either of them to finish. Peridot came first, her body tensed under Jasper and she muffled her cries against her neck, likewise, Jasper followed shortly after with a satisfied groan, she stilled her movements altogether, basking in the afterglow.

They didn’t talk much afterwards, in the odd time between cleaning up their mess -as best as they could and as best as they could be bothered with- and falling asleep, the only thing Peridot remembered was making Jasper swear she would never call her Dottie again if she ever wanted to get any again.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Surprisingly enough, neither Amethyst’s nor Lapis’ “Congrats on the sex” comments bothered her much the next day and despite their shared intimacy she also didn’t find it awkward to be around Jasper, they went about their day as usual. Garnet had assigned them to check up on their emergency supplies which were buried in different places around the pit, in case they needed to abandon it in haste one day.

It was a good walking distance from one hiding place to another but not so far as to justify wasting fuel with the motorcycle, the pit was always visible some way off. They passed the time by asking each other more inane questions -as it turned out Peridot was neither a dog nor a cat person, yes even if she weren’t allergic. Jasper audibly gasped but said she could let it slide.

It was long past noon when they reached the last emergency kit, at first Peridot didn’t notice Jasper wandering off because she was busy checking its contents but when she didn’t receive an answer to her question as to why there was a magazine of garfield comics in this kit she looked up.

For a moment she couldn’t find Jasper, but then she spotted her leaning against a boulder when she stood up after burying the kit again.

Worry harshly knotted in her stomach not a second later, Jasper looked ill.

After quickly crossing the distance between them her suspicion was confirmed, in just fifteen minutes Jasper’s usually warm complexion had turned into an odd, sickly gray and she was bracing herself against the rock behind her to keep standing.

“What’s wrong?!”

Peridot reached up to touch her forehead, expecting a fever since Jasper was obviously sweating but instead her skin was clammy, she swallowed before making an effort to answer her, “It’s...gonna be ok, don’t worry.” She paused to take another breath, “But you have to...help me get back home, I need to find Lapis. We need to hurry.”

“I can run and get her, Garnet too, she can drive you back with your bike!”

“NO, no. There’s no time. Need to get back.”

Peridot didn’t think she’d get much more out of her and her constitution seemed to worsen by the minute so she didn’t waste anymore time and slung one of her arms around her own shoulder. Jasper leaned heavily on her and Peridot had to muster all she had to keep them both standing, and then walking. She briefly remembered holding up the wooden balk with Amethyst while they had waited for its cement socket to dry, Jasper must weigh about as much as that balk, she thought.

They took one step after the other, what had seemed like a comfortable walking distance before had now turned into an endless journey over a minefield, the mines being random rocks. Peridot knew if Jasper fell she wouldn’t have the strength to get her to stand up again. She tried to force herself to remain calm, panicking wouldn’t help Jasper now. Even though she really wanted to. Jasper’s breathing came in labored huffs and her skin had gotten even colder. _Like a corpse_. Peridot quickly buried that thought again, impossible, they’d been together all night yesterday and today, she hadn’t been bitten, Peridot would have known. She would have.

Jasper seemed to regain some strength after a while, meaning they could walk faster, but not any coherence, she’d started to slur out strings of “Lapis. Lapis, need to find her.” and so on. Now was also not the time for jealousy, Peridot reminded herself.

By the time they entered the pit, Jasper’s muscles were jittering and her hands balled into fists. Peridot saw Lapis standing by the fireplace and shouted for her to come here.

Lapis hurried over and her eyes widened momentarily at seeing Jasper’s state but she remained calm, almost eerily so, as if she’d seen this a dozen times before. She wordlessly took Peridot’s place of supporting Jasper, who let out a miserable groan and mumbled, “Don’t..have...much time.”

“I know.”

Together they stumbled toward the cave and Peridot started to follow but was pulled back by someone behind her. It was Garnet. Amethyst and Pearl stood not far away as well.

“Let go.”, Peridot tried to sound threatening but failed.

“You can’t go in there.”, Garnet said flatly.

“Let go of me!”, She tried to wrestle herself out of Garnet’s hold but failed at that as well, instead she was carried back toward the fireplace where Amethyst and Pearl had sat back down, she struggled the whole way but seeing how futile it was she gave up and started crying instead. She didn’t want to do that, she hated to cry but she couldn’t stop the tears and somehow she ended up in Amethyst’s arms, getting gross snot all over her.

“Why won’t you let me go, why won’t you tell me?!”, she was interrupted by another sob, “what’s wrong with her?!”

They all looked up when Lapis came back out of the cave, alone. She looked exhausted.

A few moments later, the screaming started from deep inside the cave. If it could even be called screaming, it had no resemblance to any sound a human might produce, more like a deadly wounded animal. Peridot still didn’t understand but she could put two and two together.  
“The shackles!”, she pointed accusingly at Lapis, her hackles raised, “You tied her up and then just left her in there on her own!”

Once again she tried to get up but Amethyst wouldn’t let her, she felt like scratching her eyes out.

No one ate or slept that night, no one even talked, but it wasn’t silent either, Jasper’s agonized howling constantly filled the air, the cave walls doing little to muffle it. And then there was also Peridot quietly crying into Amethyst’s shirt, she interspersed it with more questions, begging, complaining about what was wrong with Jasper and why they wouldn’t help her, or let herself help her.

“She’s gonna be okay, Peri. You gotta believe me.”, Amethyst turned it into a mantra, repeated it over and over again. Peridot cried more out of anger than worry now, anger about everyone’s refusal to tell her what was going on and anger about the fact that she couldn’t stop crying -which turned the whole ordeal into a never ending circle. Peridot hated it but even while Jasper’s pained wailing made it hard to believe, deep inside she knew the other’s wouldn’t act so calm if they weren’t certain that she would be alright. They wouldn’t just let her die in there on her own, would they?

The night dragged on, as no one made an effort to keep the fire burning it slowly starved in its spot, Peridot watched it turn into dimly glowing embers, her expression turned hard after her tear ducts had run dry eventually. An hour before dawn the screams turned into whines and just as the last stars above faded away even those fell silent.

Worried again, Peridot looked up but before she could say anything, Lapis let out a relieved sigh, “It’s over. I’ll go and get her.”

Everyone else seemed to let out a deep breath of air they hadn’t known they were holding. They collectively watched Lapis get up and walk into the cave, five minutes later, Peridot made another attempt at getting up, this time, no one stopped her and so she went to follow Lapis.

Except she didn’t make it into the cave, Lapis came back out before she’d reached the entrance and right behind her, Jasper.

Her feet dragged and she looked...pretty bad but she was walking on her own and the tone of her skin had gone back to normal. Peridot felt like punching her in the face. She didn’t, of course. An expletive would have to do.

“Fuck you.”

“Mornin’ Dottie.”, she smiled, weakly. She could barely raise her voice above a whisper, hoarse as she was.

“Don’t Morning Dottie me you heap of dung, what the fuck was that!?”

“Let’s talk.”, Jasper turned toward their shared room and started shuffling toward there, but not after sending Lapis a glance that she seemed to understand, she left for the fireplace where she settled down between the others, initiating a conversation, possibly so that not all eyes and ears were on Jasper and Peridot.

“So?”, Peridot let out crossly after they’d sat down on their old mattress. And after Jasper swapped her sweated-through top for a new one.

“But don’t freak out.”

“Jasper, I can assure you I have already used up my freaking out contingent for the next three months last night.”

“Right. Sorry about that. So...sometimes I’m a zombie. Kind of.”

“You’re shitting me.”, Peridot deadpanned but shut her mouth tightly at the look Jasper gave her. On second thought, she probably didn’t scream her throat out all night just to pull a prank on Peridot.

“How did that even happen. How does that even _work_?

“Got bitten. And damn if I know. My best theory is, you know how sometimes you can feel a cold coming before it really hits? When I was little I could do that pretty well, and I never wanted to miss a day of playing baseball or whatever dumb games we did outside in the dirt after school, so I would always tell my mom. She’d make me chicken broth and give me an extra vitamin and send me to bed early and with some luck I wouldn’t get sick.”

“Am I getting this right, you ate some fucking chicken broth after getting bitten and??? Survived?”

Jasper chuckled, then swallowed and cleared her throat, multiple times, she was still awfully hoarse but Peridot didn’t even care right now, if she could scream all night she could tell her what the hell her deal was.

“It wasn’t that easy. Unlike you I didn’t have anyone to help me after it happened, it’d been right before sunrise and that undead jackass who did it decided to get the hell out of dodge before I could even blow its remaining brains out.”

She cleared her throat once again.

“I’d set up camp in an abandoned motel at that time, so I dragged myself back there, laid down on my bed and couldn’t get back up for almost three days.”, Then her voice turned gravely, “It’s not like a common cold, Peridot. Can you remember what your bite felt like afterwards?”

Peridot shuddered, she’d never forget that, “Yes. Like getting stabbed by icicles.”

“Imagine that, but in your whole body. I think I could have dealt with that, but the worst thing, the worst thing is how it takes control of your mind, after two days I knew I could probably stand up but if I’d done that, if I’d gone outside, I wouldn’t have come back, at least not as myself.”

“So you survived, but you aren’t immune now? How often do you...relapse?”

“It’s hard to say, there’s no pattern to it, sometimes not for months on end and sometimes twice in six weeks.”

Peridot had scooted closer to Jasper and was now carefully inspecting her wrists, rubbed raw in some places. From the shackles. Jasper didn’t need to explain the details but Peridot understood their exact purpose now.

“Why Lapis, though? I could have...shackled you if you’d told me, why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

For the first time since Peridot had met her, Jasper looked like she was struggling for words.

“I guess I should have, I was...look I was scared, alright. I didn’t want to think about it, about you seeing me like that. I get nasty, Peridot. Garnet and Lapis used to take turns with the shackles but now only Lapis manages seeing me like that anymore.”

Peridot stared at their hands as if they suddenly were the most fascinating things in the world, she intertwined their fingers. “That bad?”

“That bad. Wanting-to-eat-people bad.”

“That’s pretty bad.”

They both looked up when a head appeared in the slit between the wall-sheets, it was Pearl.

“Yes. Hello. I hope I’m not interrupting but Lapis sends me with breakfast.” At her last word she held up a steaming bowl of oatmeal with two spoons in it and a jug of water. “I’ll just. Leave it here.” Pearl set the items down right behind the “doorstep” and was gone again.

“Sometimes she’s like that.”, Jasper commented. Peridot just rolled her eyes and leaned forward to fetch the food, she flared her nostrils at the smell.

“Is that, oh my god that’s cinnamon. Where did she even find any cinnamon out here.”

Jasper didn’t seem to care about her marveling, she stole the bowl from her hands, and promptly started shoveling spoonfuls of oatmeal into her maw, Peridot let out an offended “Hey!” and went to defend her own share. They basically snarfed it all down in less than a minute, without another thought wasted on eating people. Jasper also emptied the jug of water on her own and after that Peridot went to fetch a roll of gauze from the storage in the cave. She felt uneasy to be in here after what had happened last night and so wasted no time to get back to Jasper, to bandage her abused wrists.

Peridot had been finished with that for some time and when still no one came to shoo them outside to do something more useful than lazing around, they decided to try their luck and laid down for a nap. Despite her exhaustion, and Jasper’s warm and surprisingly comfortable brick wall-esque presence pressed to her back, sleep didn’t find her.

Peridot kept fretting over the what ifs and next times of yesterday. What if they had been out hunting, an hour long drive from home. Or what if Jasper had checked the emergency kits on her own, without Peridot there. Maybe she could find a pager for Jasper to use in an emergency and alter the wind wheel to serve as a transmission tower, it might just work. And Peridot could train to restrain Jasper with rope should she relapse out in the wilderness -she silently cursed herself for blushing at the thought, this was a serious matter, not something to fuel a fantasy. Of course there were countless variables to be taken into consideration and Peridot brooded over all of them, she didn’t even notice that Jasper wasn’t snoring behind her.

“Are you okay? You’re all tense.”, to prove her point, Jasper lightly poked the wound-up muscles in the middle of Peridot’s back with one finger.

“I’m fine, you can go back to sleep, you must be exhausted.” She forced herself to relax, not wanting Jasper to worry.

Obviously she did an utter shit job at that because after a short pause Jasper spoke up again, “Hey….are you scared of me now?”

“I- what? No of course not.” She tried to make it sound convincing, because it was the truth.

“Well, you sh-”

“Oh no, you are not saying you should be, absolutely not. Who the hell do you think you are, pop culture didn’t die just so you could get away with talking like a freaking sparkling vampire.”

There was another pause before Jasper started chuckling into the hair at the back of Peridot’s head.

“Yes ma’am. Also _Twilight_ , huh? Never actually read all that hogwash back in the day. Maybe I should try and find a copy next time I drive into the city.”

“Ugh what, no way, think of the children. And with children I mean Amethyst. And with Amethyst I mean she would quote that bullshit for _weeks_.”

“A fair point.”, Jasper admitted.

The mood had lightened now and Peridot remembered to ask something else, hoping she wouldn’t spoil it again.

“You just said when you drive into the city again, is this like, a regular thing you do?”

“Yeah, when I run out of hormone patches. I never stay longer than a day, or two at the most and I try to scrounge up as many as I can in that time but still I need to restock sometimes.”

Peridot turned around to face Jasper, “I want to come with you next time.”, she quelled the protest she could already see in her expression by quickly explaining why, Jasper listened.

“You’re crazy.”, she said afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, leave a comment if you want to oh and, happy Halloween!


	3. Chapter 3

“I hate to admit it but I really want you to go as well.”, Pearl said from the other side of the fire after Peridot had told them all about her plan. She’d fixed her prosthesis with what she found in the storage but she really needed some replacement parts she could actually work with because lately her ankle joint had been acting up too at random times. The city was her only hope.

“Wow, thank you for your honesty, Pearl.”, Peridot grumbled.

It had been a little under two weeks since her and Jasper had their conversation about going to the city, Jasper hadn’t brought it up again, obviously not happy about the prospect of walking into the prime zombie-zone with someone so small and vulnerable. Someone she cared about. Unlike herself, Peridot didn’t have the virus in her which marked Jasper as “already infected and thus, uninteresting” to the undead.

“No I mean, I want you to return safely as well but unlike Jasper you know what kind of carburetor bowl we need for the generator...Or what a carburetor bowl is in the first place.”

“It’s not my fault your drawings of the stuff you need always look like blueprints for a space ship.”, Jasper threw in.

Before they could continue to bicker, Garnet said, “It’s decided then. Jasper, you take Peridot with you so she can find...whatever Pearl says she needs to find along with parts for her leg. And Peridot?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t die.”

(Peridot wondered whether Garnet said that because she genuinely didn’t want her to die or because she was already thinking about making another bet with Amethyst. She suspected a mix of both.)

And so it was decided. They would begin their journey at the crack of dawn tomorrow. They were also freed from any other duties today to double and triple check the motorcycle and anything else they’d need. Of the latter, there wasn’t much, they’d travel only with the bare necessities of food, water and tools, hoping to be able to find anything else they’d need in the ruins of the city, and their bags were empty for loot to bring back that way.

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The others were still asleep when Jasper roused Peridot, the others minus Lapis. She was sitting by the remains of the fire when they snuck out as quietly as possible. Peridot knew she had trouble sleeping sometimes, she silently waved at them from her spot and they waved back before continuing on.

The sky above was still a steely blue and the air still chilly, an odd in-between time, just safe enough as any lurking zombies would likely start looking or burrowing for shelter just about now.

Before they sat up on Jasper’s bike, she pulled something out from one saddle bag.

“One last thing.” She pulled out a gun and casually threw it at Peridot who fumbled to catch it. “Remember what we practiced?”

“Aim for the head, then pull the trigger?”

“You got it.”

Peridot did in fact, not have it. During her by now countless hunting lessons with Jasper she’d shown talent for finding and reading tracks, building snares and other traps but not with shooting anything. They’d trained on old tin cans, Peridot hadn’t hit a single one. Still she stored the weapon away into the messenger bag she was carrying after engaging the safety. At least zombie heads were bigger than her practice tin cans.

They didn’t waste anymore time, daylight was precious and it would be a two hour ride to even make it to the outskirts of the city.

After some driving through monotonous dusty plains, Jasper swerved somewhat eastwards until she hit an old highway, the blacktop was cracked and bumpy but still far more comfortable to drive on than the bare ground, she sped up.

First they found the suburbs, or what remained of them. Peridot was almost surprised to see them, her view had been blocked by Jasper’s broad back in front of her, so she could only look out to the left and right, but really, there wasn’t much to look at. She knew she should probably feel something at seeing these gutted skeleton houses, but she only regarded them numbly as they passed. Some had burnt out, others simply been stripped for anything useful as the zombie infestation wasn’t quite as bad this far out, which made looting these houses relatively save. Or had made. Jasper didn’t slow down, there wasn’t anything useful to be found here anymore. Unless one was in need of dried and burnt lawn weeds.

The topology of the area changed again soon, the upper-middle class houses gave way for buildings with more and more floors, Jasper also had to slow down significantly, debris littered the road and eventually she stopped the motorcycle completely when boulder-like chunks of concrete from a fallen building blocked the passage for anything with wheels ahead.

“That’s it then, time for some hiking.” Jasper said and together they hid the bike in a crevice between another burnt-out building and an upturned school bus -its yellow color faded and rusty.

Peridot stopped for a moment to take in the scenery ahead after she’d reached the “summit” of the rampart the debris of the fallen building had created. Not far away they’d enter downtown with its many skyscrapers -that still stubbornly fought the elements and the damage they'd sustained shortly after the outbreak. People in panic and things like molotov cocktails or tanks don't go well with each other. However, with some surprise she now noted that this place wasn’t quite as desolate as she’d thought. In between the rusting and crumbling remains of humanity she could see tall beige grass growing in place of the road and sidewalks, even the occasional tumbleweed had taken root here and there and, most astoundingly, she saw a herd of maybe half a dozen deer dash away into rows of hurriedly abandoned cars after they’d spotted her and Jasper.

After her initial surprise, Peridot thought that of course it would make sense for animals to live here, zombies posed no real threat to them as they were unsuitable to serve as a host for the virus and were thus uninteresting. Too bad they already had a tightly packed agenda and carrying a heavy deer carcass around in the sweltering heat for a day and a half wasn’t on it.

Jasper had marched on into the grass while Peridot was busy gawking and now she hurried after her. For a while they simply walked without saying anything, at first Peridot thought Jasper kept quiet because of the depressing nature of this place but as she snuck glances her way, she realized Jasper was simply on the lookout, her watchful eyes constantly scanning their surroundings.

They’d walked several blocks by now and reached some kind of square, it must have been bustling with activity once but now the cars that had been abandoned here were slowly being swallowed by more grass breaking through the asphalt. Broken traffic lights creaked as a light breeze dangled them on the wires they were suspended from.

Jasper suddenly pointed at one of the old store fronts, the yellow “M” from a McDonalds sign had come loose on one side, it hung dangerously crooked, like it could fall down any moment now.

“I bet my ass that this thing is still gonna hang there like that when we’re long dead, it’s been hanging like that since the first time I came here.”

Peridot pursed her lips and thought for a moment, then she said, “...There’s probably something deep to be said about this but all I got is, I really want some fries.”

“Same.”

They walked on, after a few steps Peridot sighed woefully, “I miss potatoes so much.” She couldn't get the fries she'd brought up out of her mind.

“Sssame, remember hash browns?”

“Or tater tots.”

“Or mashed potatoes.”

They walked block after block while first reminiscing in their memories of potato-based and other foods and then arguing over what kind of chips had been the best (Doritos or Cheetos) consequently, they almost walked past a pharmacy.

Only almost though, thankfully. Jasper went inside first to check if any zombies had sought shelter from the sun in a shady corner of the abandoned shop, finding none, she called for Peridot to follow.

Pills and various small medicine packages crunched under Peridot’s step along with the ever present sand. Several shelves had been carelessly upturned, by the undead or by someone desperately looking for something, she did not know. Crouching down, she inspected some undamaged packages laying on the ground for anything useful.

“Do you need any hemorrhoid ointment? I have like three different brands to choose from here.”

Jasper stopped her rifling through the rows of storage drawers behind the counter to reply, “My ass is in prime condition, I’m offended that you’d think otherwise.”

“Just asking, what about pain killers? I found some Ibu.”

 “Nah we got enough of those, stronger stuff too, bet we could kill a horse or two even.”

Peridot shrugged and threw the Ibu back on the ground. “So we only need to find your hormones? What exactly am I looking for here?”

“Estradiol and Spironolactone, they come as patches or pills, so keep an eye open for either.”

Peridot did as she was told, she proceeded to carefully sift through the piles of medicine, first on the ground then on the shelves that had been spared, after a while her mind was spinning from all the different agent and brand names.

“Hm, question, if we aren’t short on pain killers why don’t you take a couple when you realize you’re about to relapse, or maybe some kind of tranquilizer?”, Peridot asked after almost dropping a bottle of nyquil.

“Because I love to suffer, obviously...no but for real, I tried that, it doesn’t work. Pearl explained why to me once, I don’t know if I can rehash all that bullshit but basically it’s because the scientists who cooked up this damn virus thought it would be great if it had that effect. Y’know I can’t even blame that infected test monkey for escaping, would have gotten the hell outta there too.”

“That’s. Wow. Fucked up.” Peridot briefly glanced down at her prosthetic leg, for all the hassle it provided, she knew she’d been lucky, the doctor who’d helped her had tied off her leg immediately after the bite, injected her with something that had knocked her right out -probably before the virus could prevent it from working anymore- and gotten the job done. Had it not been for her fast thinking, Peridot wouldn’t be rummaging through shelves of overpriced cough syrup bottles right now.

“Jackpot!”, Jasper exclaimed eventually, obviously pleased by her find. Peridot walked over to her, she must have found the correct drawer and proceeded to shove its contents into her satchel.

“Well I got what I need, do you want to look for stuff for your leg here too?”, she asked while closing her bag again.

“No, we’ll have to find a hardware store or maybe a car repair shop, I don’t have any hopes for finding a random prosthesis just lying around that I can adjust and use, so I’ll have to do with what I can find and repurpose that.”

“Let’s get on it then, I think it’s already after noon.”

They marched on under the glare of the sun, only taking a short break for Peridot to sit down a few minutes on an old park bench while passing the water bottle back and forth between them. It took Peridot a moment to realize what was odd about this park, aside from the fact that the trees in it still had green leaves -their roots must have found a natural water supply. She could hear birds chirping from their branches overhead instead of the ubiquitous eerie silence all around.

“Glad to see it’s business as usual for someone at least.”, Jasper said while looking up at the racket the tiny songbirds caused. Her expression changed, Peridot noted. She’d seen her smile and laugh before plenty of times but right now it had...softened. Peridot liked it and she wished to look at it for longer but daylight was precious and after storing the bottle of water away, Jasper got up, pulling Peridot along with her.

After a few more hours it became clear that they’d have to spend the night in the city, while Peridot had been successful at finding most things on the list Pearl had given her in a car repair shop -along with a startled zombie Jasper quickly took care of- the same thing couldn’t be said for the parts she still needed for her leg. Aside from that, they were too deep in the city to get back to the motorcycle in time, the shadows cast by the looming skyscrapers around them were already growing longer, and fast.

“We should find someplace to stay the night.”

Peridot agreed, she’d done a lot of walking today and while she didn’t want to look whiny in front of Jasper, sitting down somewhere not entirely swarmed by zombies sounded heavenly.

Another block later, they found themselves in front of a bombed-out looking 7-Eleven, Jasper almost walked on but Peridot stopped her, they wouldn’t find shelter here but at closer inspection, it appeared that only the very front of the shop had been destroyed.

“Wait, you think...?”

“It’s worth a try.”, Peridot said and walked past the blackened entrance door frame, watchful for any undead attackers.

She’d been right, the very back of the shop was largely undamaged and inside they found plastic-wrapped and airtight-sealed paradise. Peridot almost wept when she bowed down to pick up the perfectly undamaged cup of instant mac-and-cheese she’d almost stepped on. Jasper on the other hand didn’t waste any time and shovelled dusty packages of cookies and crackers and whatever else fell between her hands into her backpack.

“Just take whatever, we can still come back tomorrow morning”, She said urgently, snapping Peridot out of her moment she’d just had with a portion of heavily processed noodles.

They crammed as much as possible into their combined bags and then decided to get going again (but not after Peridot had shot a mournful glance at the junk food she had to leave behind.) and not a moment too soon, the sky outside had turned a beautiful yet dreaded warm orange. Sunset.

Surveying the surroundings and considering their options, Peridot’s eyes fell on the building opposite of the 7-eleven they’d just left.

“Follow me, I think I know where we can stay.”

The “Follow me” part didn’t last for long, for safety reasons Jasper took the lead again after they’d entered the murky hallway inside but still Peridot was the one looking for the correct sign on the rows of doors to their left and right, she yelped excitedly when she finally found it between lockers and an old pinboard littered with signs and flyers for upcoming events.

“The bathroom? I got some news for you Peridot, the world is your bathroom now, if you gotta go you could have just said so.”

“No you oaf, go inside.”

Jasper pushed the door open, darkness greeted them and she quickly pulled out a flashlight from her backpack and went inside. She carefully shone the cone of light into every stall then gave the “all clear” signal for Peridot. All in all this room probably hadn’t looked much better in its heyday than it did now, except probably less dusty. For their purpose, it was perfect.

Jasper seemed to think so too, she looked around some more, then nodded in satisfaction.

“How’d you know there would be bars before the window?”, she said and pointed at the tiny window sitting under the ceiling between the two rows of toilet stalls. Someone else must have lived in here for a short time too, a piece of cardboard had been wedged between the bars and the pane, making sure no moving light from a flashlight or similar would attract zombies.

Peridot shrugged, “Public high schools.”

“You went to a public school? I thought your mom was some kinda big business fish?”

“She always said it builds character.”

Peridot sat down on another, larger piece of cardboard the former inhabitant had laid out on the grimy tiled floor in a corner next to the sinks. It didn’t look like they had left in a hurry, besides the cardboard there wasn’t anything else around that could have belonged to them. Peridot didn’t think about this mysterious former occupant for much longer, instead she set her messenger bag and backpack down beside her and let out a long sigh, finally she could take the pressure of her own weight from her stump.

Jasper jammed the bathroom door by wedging a chair under the knob -one last gift from the previous inhabitant she’d just found in one of the stalls- and settled down next to Peridot who had rolled up one pants leg and opened all the buckles that kept her prosthesis in place by now. She set it aside next to her backpack and then got started on removing the flexible, sock-like piece of fabric from her remaining limb, it served as a barrier between her skin and the prosthesis itself, to keep it from rubbing her raw, the layers of padding she’d painstakingly sewn into its bottom end also helped with that.

To a degree, that was. She carefully examined herself for any reddened spots -acutely aware of Jasper watching her, she knew her scarred stump wasn’t the prettiest of sights but Jasper would just have to deal with that if she wanted to stare. Finding none she got started on taking care of another old problem. Phantom pains. Massaging her stump usually helped.

Jasper must have noticed her pained expression. “Does it hurt?”, she asked and scooted closer.

“Yeah sometimes, usually after days where I had to walk a lot...And don’t get started on how I shouldn’t have come here with you, I’ve dealt with it before, it’s alright.”

Jasper chuckled, “I wasn’t going to, I know you’re a tough cookie.”, then she got serious again, she’d moved forward some more until she was sitting crosslegged in front of Peridot. “Let me?”

Peridot nodded slightly and then blushed deeply when Jasper gently pulled her hands away and took their place instead, Peridot didn’t even know why she blushed, they’d done more intimate things before. It didn’t matter though because thankfully she soon got distracted by Jasper’s massage, she seemed to have a talent for it, kneading with just the right amount of pressure and mindful of Peridot’s scars.

Still the hard cardboard wasn’t the most comfortable place and they shuffled around again until Jasper sat leaning against the wall and Peridot in her lap, almost laying rather than sitting, she’d blissfully melted against Jasper’s broad chest from her continued ministrations. Suddenly she jolted at the sound of a bloodcurdling howl coming from somewhere outside. It wasn’t coming from as far away as she would have liked it to. Jasper looked up as well, they listened for a while, to see if it would come closer, but nothing happened.

“Sounds like someone’s looking for dinner. Speaking of which, we should have some too.” Jasper stopped her massage, at which Peridot felt like complaining but she was very hungry and while the dull ache in her leg was still there, it had become bearable. Especially at the prospect of food.

Jasper leaned to the side, snatched her backpack and pulled out one of the chips packages they’d looted earlier, and, after some more rummaging, two hormone patches. She threw the chips into Peridot’s hands and made quick work of pulling up her own top somewhat, applying one patch next to each of her hip bones a little over her waistline and definitely noticing Peridot ogling her exposed abs in the process.

Peridot noticed her noticing and quickly directed her attention toward the bag of chips, she ripped it open and peered inside.

“I completely forgot how much useless air they used to put into these things.”

Jasper didn’t seem to care about said fraud, she was finished with her patches now and proceeded to noisily eat a handful of chips. Peridot took some herself but didn’t stop examining the bag.

“These also have expired years ago.” She ate another one.

Jasper nodded solemnly, “Ah, god bless artificial preservatives.”

Together they made short work of the entire bag, revelling in the salty and greasy treats. Afterwards, Jasper licked her fingers clean and then leaned forward, toward Peridot’s face, she thought she wanted a kiss but as it turned out she just wanted to get the paprika flavoring from her lips and cheeks.

“This is so gross, you’re so gross.” Peridot tried to squirm away, to no avail. She felt like lion cub getting tongue bathed.

“I’m just thorough.”

After that ordeal was over, they finished one of their water bottles and then made themselves as comfy as possible on the hard ground. Peridot clearly had the better seating in Jasper’s relatively soft lap and with the other wrapping herself around her like some kind of living cage.

In the silence that followed, they could both hear the sounds of the zombies rising and roaming around outside, looking for prey. Peridot shuddered, she didn’t want to admit it, but for the first time again in a good while, she was scared.

Jasper seemed to sense it, she started petting her hair. “They won’t get you in here.”

She’d said “you” not “us”, of course they didn’t have any interest in Jasper who was already infected. Peridot tried to think of something to say, she didn’t want to let her thoughts run free, into another volley of “what if’s”.

Finally thinking of a topic, she said, “You know how before the virus, there used to be these godawful redneck guys obsessed with the zombie apocalypse? I wonder whatever happened to those. Or well, not really, I just wonder what happened to their bunkers, I wouldn’t mind finding one of those, complete with chainsaw flamethrower and everything.”

Jasper was quiet for a moment, then she let out a single bark of a laugh, “Oh my god. I totally forgot about those. I wouldn’t bet my money on those guys, I’m sure they’re all goners by now.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Sure having a chainsaw flamethrower ain’t bad but trying to be a badass loner defying the hordes of undead on their own is. I don’t think these guys would have made good team players and playing on a team is kinda the only way to survive out here for longer, learned that the hard way.”, Jasper tapped the bite mark scar on her leg at the last part.

Peridot looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. “....Alright coach. Oh that reminds me, how did you even find Lapis? I think I remember Amethyst saying something about you bringing her home?”, she asked then. She’d pieced all their stories together for the most part by now, Garnet and Pearl had been flatmates before the virus and stayed together, soon after they found Amethyst wandering about, who’d then helped them defend their newly built home -the pit- against “some dudes” as Amethyst had worded it.

Jasper came after that, after she’d recovered from her initial virus infection she started trading first with travellers, then more regularly with Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl -water for loot she’d found in the city- until eventually she stayed with them for good. The only one Peridot didn’t know about yet was Lapis.

“Lapis huh? That’s kind of a long story.”, Jasper said.

“I’ve got time.”, Peridot replied. Then she had to yawn, which kind of undermined her statement. “...let's settle on the medium length edition.”

Jasper snorted. “It’s not that great of a bedtime story but alright. I think it was about a year after I’d joined the others, I was out scouting, roughly into the direction of the road tanker, but farther, away from the city. I found this old water park, didn’t think much of it at first but decided to check it out.”

Jasper paused to reposition herself against the wall, they really should have grabbed a pillow or something from a store. Or maybe more air-filled chips bags.

“Of course all the pools were dry, since I was already there I snooped around for a while though. After some time I found this old” Jasper made a vague hand gesture, “glass house building, I think they’d kept some tropical birds or monkeys or something like that in there as an attraction. It was empty and mostly dried up of course, except for one green corner. So I went to check that out and found a bunch of vegetable plants but most of the stuff growing on them wasn’t ripe yet. In the middle of it all stood this tiny ass lemon tree, though.”

“A tiny lemon tree? You mean like a bonsai?

“No, a regular lemon tree. Just still tiny. With a single lemon on it. I plucked it because why not? I’d only just turned around when Lapis found me standing there. Should have seen her face, or mine, for that matter. She called me, and I quote, a lemon stealing whore and then she was on me, screeching like a banshee and ready to slit my throat.”

For some reason Peridot could picture that vividly, she snickered. “Well, you _did_ steal her lemon.”

“I didn’t know the damn lemon had an owner alright. Anyways, Lapis almost even had me then, but only almost.”

Peridot imagined Lapis latched onto Jasper’s back or her hair like a vicious ferret, a ferret with a knife or something else sharp and pointy and Jasper stumbling about to get her off-

“Long story short, I gave her back her lemon and we talked it out, sort of. I took her home with me.”

“Wait, just like that, even though she’d just tried to stab you?”, Jasper could be reckless but she didn’t have an outright deathwish, Peridot knew by now.

“Sure, she had a backpack full of plant seeds and the knowledge on how to get that stuff to grow on next to nothing. She was running out of water, through, the well she’d been using was drying out so she kinda had no other choice than to come with me. I think for a while she was planning to poison us all or kill us in our sleep or something like that, but she never did.”

Jasper shrugged. “Must have been our combined charming personalities.”

“I bet.”, Peridot said, doubtfully, then she yawned again as the exhaustion of the day caught up to her, she leaned forward to rest her head against Jasper’s chest, she could hear her heartbeat thumping inside. Jasper didn’t speak up again, she only readjusted herself one last time around Peridot, careful not to jostle her too much. Peridot didn’t know if Jasper slept that night, she didn’t move to turn off the flashlight, but Peridot found herself dozing off easier than expected, the rhythm of Jasper’s beating heart distracting her from the occasional yowl from a zombie outside.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, their things were packed up quickly, Peridot reattached her prosthesis and they were back on the debris-littered road when the sun had only just lit up the dark shadows between the buildings. Food wouldn’t be a problem, what with the junk food goldmine they’d found, but they only had enough water left to last for this one day. Two if they drank sparingly, which they did.

Although they tried to hurry, the hours still passed by inexorably, especially when they had to pass through an area where a skyscraper had fallen into one on the other side of the street, blocking it completely. They circumvented it but didn’t find any shops, let alone a promising sounding one in the narrow back road they had to take to do so.

In the early afternoon they discovered a not yet completely raided clothing store and seeing Jasper pose with a ridiculously large straw hat -after they’d both found themselves a change of clothing- lifted Peridot’s mood at least momentarily. As did the belts she found, more than enough buckles to replace her broken one.

It began to falter again at around three o’clock when they still hadn’t found anything even remotely useful to serve as a replacement for Peridot’s malfunctioning ankle joint. She’d almost resigned herself to either rework her prosthesis completely with what she had or get used to the inconvenience. She was just about to tell Jasper that they should head back to the bike when her eyes fell on a metal sign still hanging stubbornly even on the building to her right.

_GemTec Robotics_ , it read in bold black letters.

Peridot’s eyes went wide in disbelief, she called out for Jasper to stop walking.

Jasper did as she was told and read the sign out loud, “GemTec Robotics, hmm robots as in your old battlebot or robots as in R2D2?”

“Neither, they specialized in robots for industry and manufacturing. You know those big orange robot arms used to build cars? Like those, but also smaller for other jobs like packaging goods or pipetting in a laboratory. I interned for them once, I didn’t know they had a subsidiary here too.”

Jasper inspected the former glass entrance door. “So you think you could find something for your leg here?”

“I hope so, I need a replacement for my ankle joint and these robotics were incredibly articulated. So where if not here?” She didn’t bring up the fact that if this subsidiary only had offices it would all be a moot point.

“Let’s go then.”

They went inside, in the lobby, next to the remains of the elevator they found another still readable sign denoting what could be found on which floor. Synchronously Jasper’s and Peridot’s eyes slowly wandered upwards as they skimmed over the information. Offices for administration, complaints and returns, advertising, human resources and so on and so forth, all the things a globally operating organization had needed back when.

They had almost run out of sign to read when Peridot called out, “There! Floor 28, Research and Development.” Then it dawned on her, “....Floor 28? Are you shitting me?”

“Eh, maybe all the nerds liked it breezy.”

They found the staircase right next to the busted elevator and started on the long climb up. Jasper had no difficulty and Peridot managed at first too but by floor 19 she started hating every oh-so fancy black marble step with a vengeance, her leg would be killing her tonight, that much was for sure. By floor 26 she was wheezing and Jasper had to drag her the rest of the way. (She had declined her offer to be carried on floor 21)

“You made it champ.”, Jasper said when they’d reached their destination, she slapped Peridot’s back appreciatively , causing her to almost fall all the stairs back down. They allowed themselves a moment to catch their breaths -well, mostly Peridot- and then tread on into the rooms ahead after Jasper had wrenched open a jammed metal sliding door. As it turned out, the whole floor was a single room, it must have been separated by safety glass walls once but most were broken by now, making their steps crunch from the gravel-like shards strewn about. The windows were broken as well and the warm afternoon light could stream in unhindered, illuminating every computer desk, toppled chair and the rows of robotic arms in an oddly peaceful light. Some of the mechanic appendages laid on workbenches with their wire innards spilling out, next to metal pincers and claws that had served as their “hands” as if they had just been worked on, were it not for the layer of dust on everything.

“Looks like no one’s been here in ages.”, Jasper noted while setting a set of Newton Balls sitting on a desk into motion until it clink-clink-clinked while Peridot walked on.

“Figures, would you climb up 28 floors for robot parts during the zombie apocalypse?”

“I just did.”

“Smartass. I mean if you didn’t need to...although, maybe if we’d built robots we could have beaten the virus like that, somehow.”, Peridot muttered the last part more to herself before busying herself looking through the metal shelves of spare parts in front of her, robots were always the solution in her opinion. Jasper didn’t hear, she’d wandered out of earshot to sift through the countless computer desk drawers.

Everything on the shelves was organized and labelled neatly, Peridot realized happily, the small part of her brain that still remembered the enjoyment she’d gotten out of constructing complicated fighting contraptions back in the day couldn’t help but stare in awe at the rows of priceless components. The staring was soon followed by a gasp, quiet, as if in veneration. Peridot’s eyes had fallen on a perfect multi-axis joint, made of heavy-duty titanium alloy but still surprisingly light in her hand when she picked it up and tried rotating it. She felt like crying.

She didn’t, of course. Instead she stuffed the roughly hand-sized piece into her messenger bag along with a carefully selected array of springs, bolts and metal for welding. She patted the comfortable weight of the bag against her side a few times, feeling for the invaluable cargo inside once more.

Before she could turn around and return to Jasper she caught movement out of the corner of her eye, something had nudged a cardboard box sitting on the ground under the shelf, Peridot’s mind only had time for a baffled _but it’s too bright in here for zombies_ until said something shot out of its hiding place behind the box and latched itself onto her shin, the artificial one at least. Panicked, she started screaming, swirling around and kicking her leg in the air in an attempt to get the creature off, and what a beast it was, all she could make out was that it was naked, ugly grey and pinkish mottled and it had effectively sunk itself into the fabric of her pants leg with claws and teeth.

Jasper had heard the commotion and sprinted over to where Peridot was still spinning around between desks.

“Get it off, get if off, getitoffgetitoff _getitoff_!!!”, she yelled fearfully, she’d already lost one leg, she didn’t want to surrender anything else, much less to a new horrible abomination the virus must have mutated into! In fear of that, she didn''t dare removing her attacker with her hands, what if it bit her?

Her odd jig across the floor continued until Jasper had reached her, calmly stopped her and pulled the creature off by the nape of its neck, it hissed at Peridot, obviously unhappy to be kept from slaying its prey. She stumbled backwards at the sudden loss of momentum, landing on her butt between two desks with her heart still hammering a mile a minute, she gaped at Jasper who was gently holding the vicious monster that had just attacked her!

“Hey Peridot, looks like you found the employee of the month.”

“I...what!?”, utterly confused she followed Jasper’s pointing arm -the one not cradling the monster- to the white wall behind her. In a neat frame under a sign reading “Employee of the month” hung a picture of...the monster? Except, realization hit her, it wasn’t a monster, it was a hairless cat of all things. Of all things! Peridot let out a series of sounds that could be interpreted as a groan, a cry and a hysteric laugh at the same time. A hairless cat. She had to lay down for a moment and didn’t even care about the dirt.

“I’m going to have an aneurysm now if that’s alright with you.”

“Be my guest.”

“How the fuck did it even survive up here?”, she said after a while, sitting up again she watched Jasper feeding the cat strips of dried meat from her bag which it hungrily gobbled up. It looked thin but not completely starved from what Peridot could see. Together they almost looked like a supervillain and her eccentric pet, only Jasper’s cooing destroyed the mental image.

“I saw plenty of bird nests by the windows earlier, so that’s probably how.”, Jasper answered eventually.

“I see, well if you’re done petting its wrinkly ass I found what I needed, so I’m ready to go.”, Peridot said and got up, dusting off her pants and grumblingly noting the thin but long tears in her pants from the cat’s claws.

“Great!”

“...Jasper, what do you think you’re doing there?”, Peridot asked in disbelief as Jasper removed packages of looted ramen from her bag, dropped them to the ground and carefully put the now perfectly docile cat inside in its place.

“What’s it look like, I’m taking the cat home with me.”

“Oh no, no you’re not, you’re-” Peridot scrambled for a reason that would convince Jasper not to bring this beast that was just waiting to claw her eyes out into their home, she couldn’t even pull the allergy card, because the stupid thing was hairless, “...Pearl! Pearl’s going to kill you when she finds out!”

“What you mean like she killed me when I brought _you_ home?”

Peridot’s shoulder’s sank, “Touché.”

As they descended the stairs back down Peridot tried to argue some more “It needs food.” But Jasper always had a suitable repartee “It’s a cat. It’s tiny, and there’s always some parts of our kills we can’t use.”

“What if it has rabies.”

“Shit Peri, in case you forgot I got human rabies and last time I checked that didn’t stop you from going down on me.”

Blushing at the memory, Peridot gave up after that, she couldn’t even be really mad, Jasper’s stubbornness had been part of the reason why she herself had been allowed to stay with her and the others in the first place.

They’d reached bottom ground again, it hadn’t been easy on her leg but at least this time she wasn’t out of breath. Once again the sun had sunk low while they’d been busy looting. And petting. Luckily there was still enough time left to find shelter, but not enough to make it back to the bike.

Back outside Jasper pointed at a sturdy looking brick apartment house down the street, as they walked toward it, Peridot spotted the cat’s ugly worm-like tail hanging from Jasper’s bag. She pulled a face.

“What are you even going to name it, and please don’t say Rambo II.”

“Heh, of course not. I’ll name her after the place where I found her, Leg.”

"...Leg?"

"Leg."

“Objection.”

“Denied.”

"Figures, and _her_? How do you know it’s a female cat this time?” Granted there wasn’t any hair on it obstructing...things but who even knew how cats worked, Peridot didn’t and speaking from past experience, neither did Jasper.

“I can feel it.”

“Iiii don’t even know what exactly that’s supposed to mean but, whatever.”

Inside the apartment house they were hit by a stale smell of smoke, they found the source of it soon after, at some point a fire must have broken out in the staircase area, someone had managed to extinguish it but the wooden stairs were now partially blackened and creaked dangerously when Jasper carefully tested the very bottom one.

Peridot sighed exhaustedly. “Let’s try a different house.”

“Not yet, up is out but we haven’t tried downstairs.”

Peridot wandered over to where Jasper stood, next to the burnt ones leading up, a short flight of stairs led downwards into the dark, these ones were made of stone and undamaged. A gentle gust of mildewy air licked over Peridot’s cheeks, as if the cellar was breathing out, she shuddered.

“Looks like a zombie nest if I ever saw one.”, she stated.

“It’ll be fine, there must be some lockable room down there and I’ll protect you of any zombies. Or cats.”, Jasper said entirely too confident and proceeded to walk down the stairs. Peridot followed close behind.

Her feeling of unease only intensified in the light of the flashlights they soon had to use, the cellar of the house appeared to be a labyrinth of hallways with concrete flooring and limed white walls that were now dirty from dust, cobwebs and the occasional graffiti. Every now and then, especially when they hit a crossroads of hallways, Jasper would stop, motion for Peridot to do the same and then lift her head lightly. She was listening.

“You were right, they’re down here but still a good way off. I’m sure they won’t smell us with all that mold and they won’t hears us either if we keep quiet.”, she whispered after a while of walking, stopping, listening and walking again.

Peridot nodded, she never heard anything but she just chose to trust Jasper’s judgment on which path to take. At this point it was probably too late to go back up and find a different shelter anyways, so what choice did she have?

Keeping the light of their flashlights close to the ground they found rows of metal doors with black numbers painted on them, likely storage units of the former upstairs tenants. Of course all of them were locked. Jasper was probably able to kick one in but that would be a bad idea considering the noise that would cause and that the door would be busted afterwards, unlockable and unsuitable.

Peridot made herself count the numbers on the passing doors to keep her spreading nervousness at bay, she constantly wanted to look behind her back and check for any creeping zombies in the darkness but she felt like that would be admitting defeat in a way and, illogically, would cause for there to actually _be_ a zombie. She made a deal with herself to only check every tenth step.

Jasper on the other hand appeared calm and collected, for the most part at least. Her gait was as steady as usual and her back straight. But when Peridot caught a glimpse of her expression it was...odd. Her jaw muscles were tensed and her eyes wide. Fear? Impossible, in the time Peridot had known her, Jasper had never been scared of anything, panicked maybe when they’d been out in the desert and she had started to relapse, but not scared of any physical threat. Speaking of which, Jasper had no reason to fear the nearby zombies and she had led them down into this darkness in the first place so it couldn’t be something so trivial either.

Peridot was just about to say, or whisper, that maybe they should go back after all when they turned around a corner and she saw something at the very end of this hallway. Another metal door, but this one had no black number, only a piece of paper taped to it. Jasper kept quiet as they closed the distance and it was left to Peridot to read out loud what was printed on the paper after she’d gotten close enough.

It appeared to be a list of simple bullet points.

“For residents only, no sitting on the machines, always clean the lint filter after use….” she stopped reading the rest, “The laundry room. We found the laundry room.”

Jasper didn’t say anything and stepped aside into the half-shade between the light of the flashlight and the solid darkness behind. Peridot held her breath for an anxious moment when she tried the handle.

It wasn’t locked.

“Oh thank god.” Peridot felt a good deal of nervousness leaving her and she deflated somewhat as only tentative relief remained. Still cautious however, she opened the door slowly and shone her light inside. The room was small and didn’t provide any hiding spots for a lurking zombie or any other creature, lined on one wall stood a half dozen of washing machines and dryers with a box of detergent on top of one and in another corner a chair, a laundry basket and a drying rack with someone’s clothing left to dry for eternity.

With satisfaction Peridot also noted that the key still sat in the lock on the inside, she walked on in and Jasper followed close behind, still unusually quiet.

Finally thinking Jasper’s silence strange Peridot turned around, “Are you o- oh no.” The sense of relief from just moments ago was gone as quickly as it had appeared when Peridot looked at Jasper.

She’d set her bag and flashlight down on the washing machine in front of her, making it cast sharp shadows of herself on the opposite wall as she braced herself against the appliance. She gulped the air more than she really breathed it and the muscles on her arms -with which she was holding herself up- strained with tension. In the dim light Peridot hadn’t noticed her skin turning ashen earlier, she hurried over to Jasper but jolted at the loud bang she produced by banging her fists on the washing machine once with a frustrated growl. Leg made no sound inside Jasper’s bag, obviously scared.

“Not now, not here! It’s too soon, it’s way too soon!”, Jasper shouted, she had to pause to take more strained breaths afterwards.

“Jasper, you need to calm down, they’ll hear us!”

Jasper jerked when she felt Peridot’s hand touching her own, it took all of Peridot’s willpower not to step back at the sight of her up close, she’d seen her relapse once before but not this far into the process. How had she not noticed earlier? Everything about her appearance screamed “feral and dangerous” to Peridot now, from the way she squinted at the indirect light around her, even bared her teeth at it aggressively, her hackles had risen as well and made her already voluminous hair grow in size. Peridot saw she had unclenched her fists and was now leaving scratch marks on the enamel of the washing machine.

Suddenly she hissed deeply, at the machine, or the wall ahead, it wasn’t clear, the sound shot down Peridot’s spine like a ice water regardless, she was frozen on the spot.

“You...need to go, you can’t stay here with me, you can’t- I can’t.”, Jasper managed to bite out before her body convulsed with a pained cry. After she’d recovered somewhat and saw Peridot hadn’t moved an inch she rushed to open the door and shoved her outside, dumping the bag with Leg in it in her arms as well before slamming it shut again.

Peridot finally snapped out of her paralysis and desperately tried the door handle again, it didn’t move this time, Jasper must be leaning against it from the inside. Peridot banged against it for good measure.

“Jasper, you fool, you imbecile!” Why hadn’t she just left Peridot in the room and walked out herself! That would have been the smarter solution but in her current state she must have not thought that far.

Kicking the door again, Peridot continued her tantrum, “You can’t just leave me out here, what if they hear me!” Then, realizing her own stupidity she quieted down and rested her forehead against the metal of the door, the laundry room rules note had fallen to the floor when Jasper slammed it.

Peridot tried to calm herself. And failed miserably. She could hear her own heartbeat in her ears and now she noticed she was jittering. As it looked, she’d have to spend the whole night right here and pray no nearby zombie had heard Jasper’s and her racket. She screwed her eyes shut and bit her lip when Jasper decided this had to be the moment to let our her first howl. Peridot could hear her moving about inside, beating the dryers and washing machines and a clatter when she must have kicked the drying rack over. She didn’t try the door again for now, thinking maybe Jasper had been right not to let her stay with her. Her hand had been so cold when she’d reached out to her.

Suddenly Leg gave a sign of life, she _mrrrrowed_ warningly and ducked deeper into Jasper’s bag when Peridot opened it to check on her. Peridot closed it again and looked up to see what had alarmed the small animal, the hallway ahead was still empty, she strained her eyes to stare at the angle where it turned around a corner. Relaxing a smidgen, Peridot thought Leg must have just been spooked in general.

Except, she made the threatened _mrrow_ sound again and this time Peridot’s eyes went wide as well.

She smelled them before she saw them. It left no doubt, the rancid odor of decaying flesh could only mean one thing.

“They found us.”, Peridot whispered even though it was no use now, Leg made no sound this time.

Her heart picked up speed again, she pressed her back against the door behind her and then she saw them coming around the corner, the rotting smell intensified until it was almost unbearable and Peridot had to suppress retching.

Soon she understood why, this batch must have been...fermenting for a good while now, probably some of the virus’ first victims. There was a good dozen of them and each one looked worse than the next, their clothing had rotted clean off by now, Peridot could see the yellow-white of their bones -shins and ribs- in places and where the skin was still undamaged it looked oily and grey. Grey, like Jasper’s had just now. Some were missing pieces entirely, mostly eyes or fingers or arms but one had lost its lower jaw making what was left of its tongue loll from one side to the other with each step.

For the first time Peridot really understood what the virus did, of course she had known but she hadn’t _understood_. These creatures weren’t humans anymore, not even approximations. They had died a long time ago and like microscopic puppeteers the virus tried to keep their bodies together and walking, and infecting others for as long as possible. She also realized this was what Jasper was fighting behind her back right now, and judging by the noise still coming from inside, she wasn’t giving up.

Peridot swallowed the lump in her throat, the state of these zombies gave her some time, unlike the other one’s she’d dealt with before, these could only shuffle, not sprint anymore. Still she had no doubt they’d manage to kill her just as well.

She considered the gun Jasper had given her only two days ago. _Aim for the head, then pull the trigger._ But she quickly discarded any plan involving it, even if she miraculously managed a headshot with each bullet, she didn’t have enough bullets for all of them.

Which only left one other thing to do. Peridot set Jasper’s bag down momentarily to pull something from her own. She’d thought herself foolish for wasting the precious baggage space on it when she’d packed it. Yet she hadn’t left it back home. Just in case.

Moments ticked by as she scrambled to get it out from the bottom of her bag, it had gotten buried under the parts for her prosthesis, junk food and the remaining water bottle. The zombies had advanced dangerously close by the time she found what she was looking for and pulled it out.

Her last hope was a coil of rope.

If she could restrain Jasper, they’d both be able to stay in the safety of the laundry room until the zombies lost interest. She’d also be able to keep Jasper from possibly hearing the call of her “kin” and following it.

Peridot had no delusions of being able to wrestle Jasper down and shackle her with force. Jasper would have to find it in her not to rip her to pieces and cooperate long enough for Peridot to tie her, that was the only way. The only one. Peridot felt scared to the bone but also determined, before her was certain death, behind her only _almost_ certain death. She’d gotten out of a worse situation than that before though -she remembered being stuck on an electric pole months ago- so it wasn’t an impossible feat for her to make it out alive again. With Jasper.

Wasting no more time, she slung the bag with Leg inside around her shoulder, gripped the rope tightly in one hand and tried the door once again with the other. It wasn’t locked.

Peridot took a deep breath, went inside and locked the door behind herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand it's finished! If you enjoyed it, let me know. If you didn't enjoy it, let me know as well? Honestly, concrit is appreciated. 
> 
> In case you're mad about the cliffhanger ending, I really don't think you should be! After all, don't you believe in Peridot?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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